hiker01 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing,"he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman."I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house. While the woman ties up the row boat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "Oh it's not coconut juice,"winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs." No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing,"he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around?She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "You've built a Golf Course?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redwatch Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellons Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 rofl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duke1973 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 That's a good one! Thanks for posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_rymeister Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmb Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dluddy Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mt666tm Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 LOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txcollector Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Good one. I almost missed the pun before I remembered he had retired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgtguk Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 :bangin: :clap2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panerai153 Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 GREAT !!!! Typical Golfer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlydog Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Loved reading this F! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiker01 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Loved reading this F! Thanks Hey B! Did you watch Andrew Zimmern in LA? Crazy "Pop-Up"....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archierocks Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 hahhah brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlydog Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Hey B! Did you watch Andrew Zimmern in LA? Crazy "Pop-Up"....... Have not seen it yet. Is it available via the computer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougar1 Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Enjoyed that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnCraig Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 F, I hope that he shot a hole-in-one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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