Manners maketh man

[Legend]

I receive several PMs daily from various members, mostly newbies. Most of them wants to know various basic stuff: who the trusted dealers are, which model is the best, do I have this and that model for sale etc. Questions which are harmless in themselves.

 

My gripe is with the feeling that the senders of the questions usually do not display good manners and most don’t bother to say please, thank you or do a basic introduction of themselves. Yes we are a close knit community and we should help one another whenever we can. Yet I cannot help feeling that such exchanges can be much better greased with basic manners and pleasantries, especially when the asker is new and feeling his way around. I used to be a lot more patient with such PMs and will spend time and effort to answer the questions posed, only for most of the guys asking to just vanish without even a simple thank you, after getting the information they seek.

 

Do you guys get the same kind of PMs sometimes, and how do you feel about them or deal with them?

 

I am selective about who I choose to help or respond to these days. It is ok if you’re new and want to get shortcuts to the info you seek. I did that as well when I was new. But it is not ok, in my opinion, not to bring good manners along when you’re expecting someone else to spend time to help you out.

Yes this forum exists as a platform for all of us to enjoy the hobby better. So even when you’re new and know nothing, you can still make the exchanges better by being polite and appreciative. It’s like asking for directions and then spending 2 seconds to say thank you rather than just walk away without saying anything at all after getting the help you need.

 

To the newbies, manners maketh man. If you bother to take the time to send a PM and expect a meaningful reply, then please, display less self-entitlement and better manners. Nobody owes you anything and good manners is the grease that keeps the cogs of interaction turning smoothly. Will you take the time to answer the PMs that you send, even if you know the answers?

It is ok to ask questions, but not ok to feel that you are entitled to answers automatically just because you’re asking them.

I’ve ignored about 50% of the PMs sent to me in the past 3 months due to the self-entitled sounding questions. Come on newbies, if you expect me to respond to you meaningfully, then be better mannered please. Else just post your questions in the forum and let whoever is willing answer them.

 

 

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[rendra.rusdi]

I receive several PMs daily from various members, mostly newbies. Most of them wants to know various basic stuff: who the trusted dealers are, which model is the best, do I have this and that model for sale etc. Questions which are harmless in themselves.
 
My gripe is with the feeling that the senders of the questions usually do not display good manners and most don’t bother to say please, thank you or do a basic introduction of themselves. Yes we are a close knit community and we should help one another whenever we can. Yet I cannot help feeling that such exchanges can be much better greased with basic manners and pleasantries, especially when the asker is new and feeling his way around. I used to be a lot more patient with such PMs and will spend time and effort to answer the questions posed, only for most of the guys asking to just vanish without even a simple thank you, after getting the information they seek.
 
Do you guys get the same kind of PMs sometimes, and how do you feel about them or deal with them?
 
I am selective about who I choose to help or respond to these days. It is ok if you’re new and want to get shortcuts to the info you seek. I did that as well when I was new. But it is not ok, in my opinion, not to bring good manners along when you’re expecting someone else to spend time to help you out.
Yes this forum exists as a platform for all of us to enjoy the hobby better. So even when you’re new and know nothing, you can still make the exchanges better by being polite and appreciative. It’s like asking for directions and then spending 2 seconds to say thank you rather than just walk away without saying anything at all after getting the help you need.
 
To the newbies, manners maketh man. If you bother to take the time to send a PM and expect a meaningful reply, then please, display less self-entitlement and better manners. Nobody owes you anything and good manners is the grease that keeps the cogs of interaction turning smoothly. Will you take the time to answer the PMs that you send, even if you know the answers?
It is ok to ask questions, but not ok to feel that you are entitled to answers automatically just because you’re asking them.
I’ve ignored about 50% of the PMs sent to me in the past 3 months due to the self-entitled sounding questions. Come on newbies, if you expect me to respond to you meaningfully, then be better mannered please. Else just post your questions in the forum and let whoever is willing answer them.
 
 
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I believe I "grease" u pretty well but to no avail.
To me, u come across as a person who is pretty set on yr ways. I understand that totally. Some of us (in this community) are rather immature in our ways, and as a 47 yr old, I understand that but I don't feel it's at all acceptable.
As I read through some threads, and questions are answered, I don't see a simple "thank you" following it. Some of those questions were even asked in an obligatory manner too, like as if this forum is a "customer service" center for Replica Watches Inc.
This is my 2 cents and I'm SUPER newbie.


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[lorenzo1910]

I think that people should do their "homework" before go straight to PM somebody...

There are a lot of info in the fora... and the newbie may do himself a favor (to himself and to the community) opening a thread about a question that hasn't yet replied... (share the knowledge!)

Whenever you can't get the replies that you're seeking, then, and only then, PM someone and politely ask for help...

"Right here, right now" doesn't work.

[tomhorn]

I agree. Goes for posts on the message board itself also. If a question has been asked and answered here many times, then I (at best) might suggest they do some searching, and provide a link to a post or two to get them started.

 

Never ceases to amaze me when people ask me a question about one of my builds that I answered ... you know ... in the build thread ... which is linked in my signature.

 

On the other hand, I am happy to help people that have clearly done their homework, or were asking for clarification on something that's been posted. We were all noobs once, but even when I was a noob, I at least tried to figure something out on my own before asking the stupid question.

[Legend]

6 hours ago, rendra.rusdi said:

I believe I "grease" u pretty well but to no avail.
To me, u come across as a person who is pretty set on yr ways. I understand that totally. Some of us (in this community) are rather immature in our ways, and as a 47 yr old, I understand that but I don't feel it's at all acceptable.
As I read through some threads, and questions are answered, I don't see a simple "thank you" following it. Some of those questions were even asked in an obligatory manner too, like as if this forum is a "customer service" center for Replica Watches Inc.
This is my 2 cents and I'm SUPER newbie.


Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk
 

Well, Mr R, you expressed interest in one of my diver builds in your PM, and I gave you my number so that we could discuss it via whatsapp. 

But I quickly realized that the conversation was becoming more of a Q&A session, with no particular end in sight. So yes I guess that "to no avail" applies here. When you know what you want from me, I am always open to a conversation with you, but on specifically what you want, and not about general stuff in the hobby. That chat can happen later when we are better acquainted.

 

[rendra.rusdi]

Well, Mr R, you expressed interest in one of my diver builds in your PM, and I gave you my number so that we could discuss it via whatsapp. 
But I quickly realized that the conversation was becoming more of a Q&A session, with no particular end in sight. So yes I guess that "to no avail" applies here. When you know what you want from me, I am always open to a conversation with you, but on specifically what you want, and not about general stuff in the hobby. That chat can happen later when we are better acquainted.
 

Yes that is correct. I hope one day the time will come and we can have a business relationship. I look forward to that. There's much we can learn and benefit from your knowledge and savoir-faire in this hobby.
Newbies should learn to be more polite when making enquiries. This forum being existent is SO beneficial enough that if further information is sought at least have the sense to be more courteous!

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[Legend]

19 minutes ago, rendra.rusdi said:

Yes that is correct. I hope one day the time will come and we can have a business relationship. I look forward to that. There's much we can learn and benefit from your knowledge and savoir-faire in this hobby.
Newbies should learn to be more polite when making enquiries. This forum being existent is SO beneficial enough that if further information is sought at least have the sense to be more courteous!

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk
 

Actually, R, I do not mind whether we do business or not. I run my own non-watch related business managing a group of companies, and that is one source of sustenance for me besides the passive investments I do. This is just a hobby, though yes I still put a price on the parts, labour and time I put in to justify the time spent in it. 

So I really don't mind whether we do business or not. I remember you as a pleasant person to talk to, cheerful and upbeat. I just hope that if we do chat again, it will be on something specific and concrete that I can help you with, rather than an exchange of opinions.

[rendra.rusdi]

Actually, R, I do not mind whether we do business or not. I run my own non-watch related business managing a group of companies, and that is one source of sustenance for me besides the passive investments I do. This is just a hobby, though yes I still put a price on the parts, labour and time I put in to justify the time spent in it. 
So I really don't mind whether we do business or not. I remember you as a pleasant person to talk to, cheerful and upbeat. I just hope that if we do chat again, it will be on something specific and concrete that I can help you with, rather than an exchange of opinions.

I really appreciate that invitation! Thank you

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[Legend]

1 hour ago, rendra.rusdi said:

I really appreciate that invitation! Thank you

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Come back any day R!

[kernow]

I believe that a lot of newbies hit and run as they’ve no intention of becoming part of the community. Once they’ve had the information on ‘who has the best sub’, they’re off without a thank you. Legend suffers these fools more than most as he is a gentleman with a vast amount of knowledge and is happy to share. But, come on guys, just say please, please. 

[SSTEEL]

15 hours ago, Legend said:

 

 

 

Do you guys get the same kind of PMs sometimes, and how do you feel about them or deal with them?

 

All the time A, which over the years I have learnt which members to simply not give my valuable time, I'm not an ignorant person by any means, but when someone has no decent politeness and good manner when contacting me, I don't feel obliged to respond at all.  It's simply not worth it, past experience of going above and beyond has always never been appreciated.

Edited February 20, 2018 by SSTEEL

[Legend]

1 minute ago, SSTEEL said:

All the time A, which over the years I have learnt which members to simply not give my valuable time, I'm not an ignorant person by any means, but when someone has no decent politeness and good manner when contacting me, I don't feel obliged to respond at all.  It's simply not worth it, past experience of going above and beyond has always never been appreciated.

Hey M, I know that you have accumulated over time, a rather impressive set of knowledge and skills necessary to help members here with their watch movements. 

And as such, you get numerous PMs asking various questions. How do you deal with PMs that you do not feel comfortable reading, but yet feel obliged to reply? Do share that skill lol.

[SSTEEL]

Just now, Legend said:

Hey M, I know that you have accumulated over time, a rather impressive set of knowledge and skills necessary to help members here with their watch movements. 

And as such, you get numerous PMs asking various questions. How do you deal with PMs that you do not feel comfortable reading, but yet feel obliged to reply? Do share that skill lol.

I have several text templates that I can choose from to copy and paste, one of which is to actually email me, and we will continue communications via email, which makes things much more easier for me to manage.  50% of enquiries come through whilst the other 50% don't even bother.

[mymanmatt]

One of the responsibilities of being a senior member, is to help the newbies. Sometimes it's hard to suggest to them to look it up in manner that sounds polite. We were all newbies at one time. But, there is no substitute for manners, be it a long time member, or a newbie. "can't we all, just get along?"  lol Jack Nicholison in war of the worlds, I think.

[Yllekp]

A, you are speaking my language precisely in your opening post, we are of a like mind. I do respond to all PMs but my answers have become shorter and less elaborate unfortunately. 

 

There are long time lurkers who I regularly speak to who never post. There are the one hit wonders who simply want info and treat us like some sort of customer service rep. There are even veterans who think we are there to serve them. I could rant forever but I believe you have said it all.

[PlanetZoom]

I was taught in life to research before asking a question.  There are many benefits to this.  One of the benefits is that when you do ask a question, it will be a better and more focused question.