Pugwash Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Bob went to a shop to make a purchase. He asked the assistant "How much will one cost?" The assistant thought for a moment and said, "three dollars." Bob looked a little puzzled and said "well then, how much will twelve cost?" "Six dollars," replied the clerk. Bob scratched his head and said, "if I were to purchase two hundred, how much would that cost?" "That," said the clerk, "will cost you nine dollars." What was Bob buying? It's nice to see they finally gave him discount for buying 10 sign letters ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Actually I have no idea who won that since you all seemed to know what you were talking about! It was, of course, house numbers. Although, in my experience, you're pretty set on the numbers you need before you walk into the store ALL WINNERS! Mr and Mrs Jones have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Jones family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 9 methinks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 9 methinks Yes! 9 - they all have the same brother, naturally. (One of my pals was the only brother with six older sisters. His parents kept banging away to get a boy - came up girl six times on the trot! ) During a world fair a group of scientists were exhibiting their advances in genetic engineering. There were cross-breeds of various bulls, cows and other domestic farm animals. Featured in the exhibit were several over-sized prize turkeys. One afternoon during the show, a woman walked up to the exhibit, shot the turkeys and then ran out of the building. Although she was known to a number of people, nobody made any attempt to stop her. Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 During a world fair a group of scientists were exhibiting their advances in genetic engineering. There were cross-breeds of various bulls, cows and other domestic farm animals. Featured in the exhibit were several over-sized prize turkeys. One afternoon during the show, a woman walked up to the exhibit, shot the turkeys and then ran out of the building. Although she was known to a number of people, nobody made any attempt to stop her. Why? Um, she was armed. ... with a camera. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Um, she was armed. ... with a camera. Ach, shite. I thought the coast was clear - I knew you would get it in a flash! But even if it had been a gun, perhaps people wouldn't have made an attempt to stop her....because she has a gun. And it was just a turkey. What five letter word does every Oxford graduate pronounce wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Ach, [censored]. I thought the coast was clear - I knew you would get it in a flash! But even if it had been a gun, perhaps people wouldn't have made an attempt to stop her....because she has a gun. And it was just a turkey. What five letter word does every Oxford graduate pronounce wrong? W R O N G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 W R O N G ...and that's easy because if they were Oxford graduates, they would immediately know it was a test as the correct question should be "Which seven letter word does every Oxford graduate pronounce wrongly?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 W R O N G Correct! And as a special prize, we have a message from esteemed Oxford graduate Stephen Hawking! John dropped in to visit his friend Frank, and found him snoozing on the couch. There was fresh blood on the ceiling above his head, but nowhere else in the room. John anxiously woke him to check his condition only to find that everything was fine. How could Frank's blood be on the ceiling but nowhere else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 He sneezed whilst suffering a blood nose Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 BTW as this is the place where I can catch him..........it's irongambit's Birthday Happy Birthday mate Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 John dropped in to visit his friend Frank, and found him snoozing on the couch. There was fresh blood on the ceiling above his head, but nowhere else in the room. John anxiously woke him to check his condition only to find that everything was fine. How could Frank's blood be on the ceiling but nowhere else? He was using the couch as a trampoline, banged his head and fell asleep on the spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irongambit Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 BTW as this is the place where I can catch him..........it's irongambit's Birthday Happy Birthday mate Ken Thank you sir...over there perhaps it is, but here, I have a few more hours until I regain my once-a-year, 24-hour title of King of the Castle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 He sneezed whilst suffering a blood nose Ken He was using the couch as a trampoline, banged his head and fell asleep on the spot. I like 'em! Not what is on the card though. Happy imminent birthday irongambit! (By the way - I'm stuck working - the indignity of it! Stuck trying to open a feckin MS Works document too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Yeah well what actually happened is the blood is on the piece of ceiling that fell on him. And you deserve to be stuck at work for tormenting us like this Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Yeah well what actually happened is the blood is on the piece of ceiling that fell on him. And you deserve to be stuck at work for tormenting us like this Ken You're in luck while everyone works out the blood....there's a snap quick money round... Which "king" won the Brownlow Medal in 1934, 1937 and 1938? Anyone? Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 The mighty Dick Reynolds, see the Bombers fly up..up to win the premiership flag. Gotta admit I had another answer here because after reading the question quickly I thought it said Melbourne cup Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 The mighty Dick Reynolds, see the Bombers fly up..up to win the premiership flag. King Richard wins! Now how we doing with that blood? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 So you didn't like my piece of ceiling falling one then? Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 So you didn't like my piece of ceiling falling one then? Ken The question says it was on the ceiling above his head, so I guess the bit of ceiling is still up there. John dropped in to visit his friend Frank, and found him snoozing on the couch. There was fresh blood on the ceiling above his head, but nowhere else in the room. John anxiously woke him to check his condition only to find that everything was fine. How could Frank's blood be on the ceiling but nowhere else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Maybe I'm not looking at this the right way but this one has me totally stumped Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Fair enough - we'll keep that one live then, and add another... A horse is tied to a five metre rope in front of an old saloon. Six metres behind the horse is a bale of hay. Without breaking the rope, the horse is able to eat the hay whenever he chooses. How is this possible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melvin.x Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Fair enough - we'll keep that one live then, and add another... A horse is tied to a five metre rope in front of an old saloon. Six metres behind the horse is a bale of hay. Without breaking the rope, the horse is able to eat the hay whenever he chooses. How is this possible? There are two possible answers. 1. The rope is tied to the back of the horse 2. The rope isn´t tied to the other end at all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 There are two possible answers. 1. The rope is tied to the back of the horse 2. The rope isn´t tied to the other end at all... Nice! 2 is the right answer, but I am quite taken with the ingenuity of 1! WINNER! How we all doing with the blood one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Well I'm hoping that someone else will answer it Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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