cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Tragic really if only John had remembered to juice up the car, they would still be one little happy family, but alas John will now have to raise the child without the help of his beautiful bride. The child on the other hand will turn out maladjusted for not having the Mothers influence and will run away from home at the tender age of 14 never to be seen again, leaving John to die a sad and lonely man..............and all because he was trying to make it to the next town where he could use his shopper docket to get 2 cents a litre off the price of his fuel. That's not what it says on the card.....but it's how A Current Affair and Today Tonight will put it (Still looking forward to their insightful analysis when interest rates go up ) Here we go: When Claire was purchasing her new parrot, the salesman assured her that it would repeat any word it heard. About a week later Claire returned the parrot complaining that it hadn't uttered a single word. Given that the salesman had spoken the truth about the parrot's abilities, why wouldn't the bird talk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Because it's deaf..................or dead Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Because it's deaf..................or dead Ken WINNER! Yes, the bird is deaf. What runs fore to aft on one side of a ship, and aft to fore on the other side? (Besides a drunken sailor) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 WINNER! Yes, the bird is deaf. What runs fore to aft on one side of a ship, and aft to fore on the other side? (Besides a drunken sailor) The name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Ok Puggy got that one..................c'mon deal the cards deal the cards Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Tragic really if only John had remembered to juice up the car, they would still be one little happy family, but alas John will now have to raise the child without the help of his beautiful bride. The child on the other hand will turn out maladjusted for not having the Mothers influence and will run away from home at the tender age of 14 never to be seen again, leaving John to die a sad and lonely man..............and all because he was trying to make it to the next town where he could use his shopper docket to get 2 cents a litre off the price of his fuel. Ken Well thanks a bunch Ken, me old ex-mate! That tank was full when I left the house and it was long since found that it had developed a leak. I miss Jane but now have Damien, our beautiful little son, who is doing very well thank you very much and has just started primary school. Sad and lonely? You must be thinking of someone else. I converted to the Mormon Church and now have 18 wives. Stick that in yer didgeridoo and blow it. John PS......What walks on its head? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 The name. Aye, yes! Sheesh, should have guessed the Captain would know that! @JTB: 18 wives - surprised you have the energy to type! If you saw your mirror image holding the letter 'd' in your left hand, what would you, in actuality, be doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 PS......What walks on its head? a Hobnail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 If you saw your mirror image holding the letter 'd' in your left hand, what would you, in actuality, be doing? Holding a b in your right hand, but to what end I have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 a Hobnail Well done puggy! Your prize is a date with Miss Understood. Let me know and I'll arrange it. JTB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Your prize is a date with Miss Understood. Let me know and I'll arrange it. Let me check my innoculations are up to date ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Holding a b in your right hand, but to what end I have no idea. And another win!! No date though... Two sheep are grazing in the same pasture; one is facing exactly North, one is facing South. How is it possible for the sheep to see each other without turning around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Two sheep are grazing in the same pasture; one is facing exactly North, one is facing South. How is it possible for the sheep to see each other without turning around? I don't get this. You put them nose to nose and they can see each other. Are you sure you're asking it right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 I don't get this. You put them nose to nose and they can see each other. Are you sure you're asking it right? It was that easy! I guess without just googling for it.... Based on the laws of the US Constitution, there are five requirements a person must meet in order to become President of the United States: the candidate: + must be at least 35 years old + must be a citizen of the United States + must have resided in the United States for at least 14 years + must have been born in the United States There is one more requirement. What is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 It was that easy! I guess without just googling for it.... Based on the laws of the US Constitution, there are five requirements a person must meet in order to become President of the United States: the candidate: + must be at least 35 years old + must be a citizen of the United States + must have resided in the United States for at least 14 years + must have been born in the United States There is one more requirement. What is it? Is it must not be a criminal or must be god-fearing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Is it must not be a criminal or must be god-fearing? Is that one guess or two? "It's good, but it's not right...!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Must not have already served two terms in office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Must not have already served two terms in office. Good lateral thinking - but I guess they have already become President. Anyways - it's not what is on the card Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 How about must run or stand for election Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 How about must run or stand for election Ken Two correct answers but this one clocked in first! Yes, 'must be elected' is the other requirement... And Nanuq, I can only assume that you've been hungry with all this donut talk (I know I am)! Casting my mind back, at school we had a Physics teacher who had a delicate way of explaining the inner-intricacies of the universe. Whenever we asked him to explain a difficult concept he would bark, "because it just does!" (Occassionally before launching a book across the room). I don't know why the hole in the iron ring gets bigger. But that appears to be the observed consensus of heating iron rings. Here we go before I shoot off for the day.... Buck has a bow and sixty arrows. If Buck shoots the first arrow at exactly noon (according to his 4th gen Planet Ocean) and continues to shoot one arrow every minute thereafter, at what time will he run out of arrows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Buck has a bow and sixty arrows. If Buck shoots the first arrow at exactly noon (according to his 4th gen Planet Ocean) and continues to shoot one arrow every minute thereafter, at what time will he run out of arrows? According to his PO, 12:59. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Speaking of donuts, I'm taking Ms. Nanuq out camping this weekend and I'm bringing the ingredients to make campfire donuts! She has no idea just how much yumminess is possible from a campfire. She's in for a treat! That DOES sound good! Actually, I had no idea you could make doughnuts without deep frying them - so this gives me an incentive to try this with the Webber! (In Aussie BBQ terms I have managed to barbecue a Baked Alaska = lightweight novice ) Speaking of doughnuts, this looks like an Australian ad - not sure though... According to his PO, 12:59. GOAL! And in record time too, what was that - two minutes?! Okay - this is uncontroversial.... Taiwan Ted sells the best reps in the business. He sold half his reps plus one to his first customer of the day. To the second customer, he sold half of the remainder plus one more. To the third customer he sold half the remiander plus one more; and to the fourth customer he sold half the remiander plus one more. Taiwan Ted had proudly sold all his stock. How many reps did Ted have for sale at the start of this fantastic day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 11....................................or 21 I'm a little confused on this one Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Taiwan Ted sells the best reps in the business. He sold half his reps plus one to his first customer of the day. To the second customer, he sold half of the remainder plus one more. To the third customer he sold half the remiander plus one more; and to the fourth customer he sold half the remiander plus one more. Taiwan Ted had proudly sold all his stock. How many reps did Ted have for sale at the start of this fantastic day? 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 (edited) 23 That's wrong, by the way. It's 30. Edited July 27, 2006 by Pugwash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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