Nanuq Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 My daughter hates this list. Daddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miagi Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 haha priceless:D will be saving this list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikellem Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 MM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 Mines a little young yet, but I saved a copy for later Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted May 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Wait till you see the Application to Date my Daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donerix Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Thank you God for only giving me male offsprings - so they they can read this and be prepared....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulVanDyk Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 damn dude...uppps...i meant to say SIR =) whenever ill have kids that exactly how its gonna go down...especially when it comes to my daughter =))) respect all the way can't wait for the application to date your daughter.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noddy Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Best line ever in a reality tv show - father regarding daughter's boyfriend - I never miss an opportunity to remind him that I make my living as a police sniper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noddy Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ______________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No C. A waterbed? __Yes __No D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No E. A tattoo? __Yes __No F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________ mother? _____________ pastor? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________ E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________ F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. _________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back) To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted May 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 That's the one! At least, it's a kinder, gentler version of the one I hand out........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nnomad Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Oh man..... that is indeed priceless....what a great start for my day.. i thank you for that A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterOfPuppets Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 im gona print this and frame it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuccadoc Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Oh man, this is great! My daughter is only six but i don't think the rules are going to change anytime in the next 10-20....25 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayward Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Thank you all i will need that in about ohhhhhhh about 10 years i hope (Emily is 10 on friday) For any one thinking of sending there sons to date Emily at some time in the future please ask Stepane how well my WIFE can shoot! I shoot well but prefer a less humane method of education Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted May 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 I shoot well but prefer a less humane method of education I've found that it's effective to meet a prospective date in the driveway where I just "happen" to be sharpening my double bit axe. He can't walk past you, he won't change any subject you want to bring up, and almost every word out of his mouth will be "yes sir". Count on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Bob you and I should sit down some time and share some gentleman jack and some food some time. If you ever Pop over to gemany I am and always will "be prepared" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronoluvvv Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 rules will always be broken, how else do ya think we grew up ourselves ? i believe in a pro-active first strike ... like offering the kid a soda and spiking it with BP medication Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limestone Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Copy---save---print in a couple of years... Thanks mate. //H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest asim Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 holy cow, that's one exhaustive list. I don't have a daughter yet, but when I do and she's at that age.. like 21 and older.. every guy she dates will have this to study. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted May 19, 2009 Report Share Posted May 19, 2009 Yes. True dat. When you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about them all. I pity the fools. Oh, how I will make their lives uncertain reigning hell on Earth. I do so look forward. I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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