What disappoints me the most is not the wonderful theories you espouse but rather finding out you are in the UK, so presumably British.
I have been chuckling away assuming you are one of those crazy American we all know and love - but it is possible you are English. So I feel the need to speak up. You're letting the side down old chap, so let's have no more of this nonsense or I'll have to call those nice young men in their clean white coats to take you back to your nice comfortable room.
All agreed? Excellent. If you are a good boy we can have some tea and tiffin on the way home.