Chronus Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) Got this via email, hopefully someone will find it funny, and yeah there are some stereotypes: Aussie eye-view of the War on Terrorism - Threat levels: The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Afghanistan and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the Air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level. Edited July 1, 2009 by Chronus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulVanDyk Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 LOL - great read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg_r Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 Excuse me while I steal that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 Actually I thought this was the best line.... These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest asim Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 lol!! stereotypes at its best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronoluvvv Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 very insightful, i must say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterOfPuppets Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 Beautiful! really enjoyed reading it thx! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayward Posted July 2, 2009 Report Share Posted July 2, 2009 LOL...great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siesta181 Posted July 2, 2009 Report Share Posted July 2, 2009 Clever... stereotypes are fun when enjoy with ppl with a sense of humour... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chronus Posted July 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2009 Clever... stereotypes are fun when enjoy with ppl with a sense of humour... Agreed, especially when taken as a joke and not seriously Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnkaz Posted July 3, 2009 Report Share Posted July 3, 2009 Excellent, I can hear the newsreaders now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted July 3, 2009 Report Share Posted July 3, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Good stuff. "Invade a neighbor" and "Lose". Just brilliant. I almost missed this. Luckily I was running down a few of 'JKaz' 's last posts. You really can't beat a Yorkshireman for succinct comment. You really can't. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayward Posted August 15, 2009 Report Share Posted August 15, 2009 lol...excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted August 15, 2009 Report Share Posted August 15, 2009 I say! I thought we were at Spiffing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irontomkidd Posted August 15, 2009 Report Share Posted August 15, 2009 America felt left out, and this was the best I could find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HunterBL Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 haha nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuclearboy Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 Got this via email, hopefully someone will find it funny, and yeah there are some stereotypes: Aussie eye-view of the War on Terrorism - Threat levels: The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Afghanistan and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the Air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level. Nice one "feel a bit miffed" now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dudemeister Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 ...a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. Oh Man, I nearly peed myslef laughing at this. This is absolutely hilarious !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave75 Posted November 12, 2009 Report Share Posted November 12, 2009 spot on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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