Nanuq Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full. As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I ain't never seen nothin' like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Thanks Bob i needed a smile after the day i have had Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiker01 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Good one.......another one, but not a funeral, but could led to one: Wife: Honey, please answer me in all honesty, do I look pretty or ugly ? Husband: Both! Wife: What do you mean? Husaband: You're Pretty Ugly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katerchen Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 You always crack me up George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 ok thats funny. Gotta steal this and use it with my mates. Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxman Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiker01 Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests, until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up......Then all the other bells started to ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronoluvvv Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 wife to husband "honey i think i look old & ugly ! would you say something nice about me please ?" husband deadpans "well babie, your eyesight is as good as always" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlydog Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 wait a second... Kentucky back-country septic tanks something doesn't add up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxman Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 @Hike...sounds like those other eleven priests were a "pain In the ass" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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