Top-10 most embarrassing Rolexes ever

[By-Tor]

NOTE: This is written tongue-in-cheek and shouldn't be taken dead seriously.  I was bored and just typed in some humorous rant. If your watch is on the list, don't take it personally. It's kinda "attempted satire", based only on my subjective opinions. Feel free to disagree. 

 

So here we go...

 

 

MOST EMBARRASSING ROLEXES EVER:

 

1. Yacht-Master II

This looks like a Canal Street piece of shit. The designer must have been on some heavy drugs. Completely tasteless, gaudy and plain fuck*ng ugly POS. The designer of this watch should be jailed. This is a crime against humanity and Kim Jong-Un has shot people for lesser crimes. Invicta is one of the most embarrassing marquees and even they couldn't have put out watch this ugly. They're asking what... $20K for this?

 

2. Yacht-Master two-tone with brown bezel

Honestly... this one looks LITERALLY like a piece of dog turd.

 

3. Hulk

GREEN dialed Submariner! It's not even that "ugly" per se... but has quickly become the ultimate douchebag Rolex. Idiots in the local gen watch community (that I frequent) has a lot of Hulk buyers. They pose with their tuned up Beemers and post wrist shots of Hulk. They don't usually know anything about watches... or even Rolexes for that matter... but they bought the Hulk because it says Rolex on the dial, they want to show that they have money and their golf friends have them too. They call them "Hulksters". Wimps! 

 

4. Batman

How can you f*ck up GMT Master any worse? First install ugly fat case, then polish the middle links and then attach blue and black bezel... destroying all great decades old traditions of this watch. It's Pepsi and it should NOT have anything polished. The standard new black GMT already bored me to death but "Batman" is even worse. And what a ridiculous nickname... "Batman". Jokers! 

 

5. Any classic sports Rolex with diamonds

It's like getting a very expensive, restored classic Mercedes SL Pagoda or Jag E-Type and then install spoiler kit on them... and then paint 'em pink. Even Liberace knew better and would have stayed away from these.

 

6. Yacht-Master

I had the Rolesium rep and I wore the gen for a few days (swapped watches with a friend). I can live with the Rolesium as it's the least unattractive of them. But my God how plain awful combinations there are. Anything two-tone is usually just horrendous. YM is just Submariner with tasteless bling. Why do they call it "Yacht Master"? Because fat, old, rich guys with no taste can wear these on their yachts and impress the hookers.

 

7. Leopard Daytona

Neil always called it "Gaytona". Enough said.

 

8. DeepSea

I have no doubt that it's a good and capable dive watch but my God it's UGLY as sin. Small children should not see this watch as it's so painfully ugly.

 

9. Sky-Dweller

Yeah it can set the month date correct automatically. Great! Just like my Casio. What this has to do with Dwelling in the sky? What a pretentious watch. What next? Cave Dweller, Fire Dweller, Lake Dweller, Ass Dweller?

 

10. Daytona (post El Primero)

Daytona doesn't really deserve to be on this list because I respect the movement and quality. It's a good watch no doubt. But it's also the most overhyped watch ever. I had the rep and one of my good friends has white gen. I see it almost weekly. If you have a bit larger wrist, try wearing Ebel BTR, any Breitling chrono or even PO Chrono and then put Daytona on. You'll be seriously underwhelmed. The dial is pale, plain, it wears extremely small and looks very old fashioned (in a boring way). That smooth bezel and relatively huge pushers make it feel even smaller. Not an ugly watch and I respect it... but it just bores me to death.

 

Flame on (ducks for cover). 

[Pombok]

Dude! Edit this post with pics of the watches! I had to google a couple. Lol at the Leopard Daytona!!!


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[Sogeha]

Oh @By-Tor I can't believe you put the Gaytona on the list, have you no taste man?

Here is the watch and possibly the only man in the World who can pull off wearing one. The good news is reps were made. Keep an eye on M2M sales,  @Nanuq has been looking for a while.

 

[themannier]

Made with real leopard skin 

[By-Tor]

Haha yeah. I also forgot the Rainbow version.

[Nanuq]

My eyes... my eyes......

[By-Tor]

 

[Nanuq]

For the love of all that's holy.....

Even the Rolex Mountain Elves employed by the factory to service gens refuse to work on that.

[rolojack]

I laughed!!! Men, you're funny! I'd say I 1000% agree on all. When in Europe. It's a matter of environment as always. Some places makes us accept the heavy bling game... Like Dubai. Wearing a vintage piece in your McLaren simply won't match! And those watches are made for those desert boys. Now that they don't have to pick up camel [censored] to make a fire by the tent anymore things have changed...

[Sogeha]

3 hours ago, By-Tor said:

 

 

Diamond coated case and bracelet for toughness, that is a proper tool watch apart from the dial designed by the Invicta B team.

@themannier nobody with that much taste would be so insensitive as to wear real leopard. 

@rolojack nothing wrong with a vintage Rolex and a McLaren, as long as it's a real McLaren

@Nanuq problems can always be solved

[Nanuq]

I'll take "Elves that refused to work on Tony Soprano's 18k President for $800", Alex.

 

 

 

[Sogeha]

One is a wristwatch for gentlemen with taste and style, one is a blinged  up piece of 5hit that no Rolex service centre will touch. I rest my case

[themannier]

Hum, sorry for my ignorance but does this leopard Daytona come from the Rolex factory or somethig that has been modified, transformed by another company ?

 

If someone is interested, i have one available on chrono 24 at 53500 euros 

http://www.chrono24.fr/rolex/daytona-leopard-special-series-new-2016--id3488571.htm    

[By-Tor]

That's way too cheap. The correct price is...

 

[Sogeha]

116598se is absolutely genuine Rolex. They start at around $35000, Joma currently has an unworn one available for around 55. 

Remember how hard Paul Newman's were to sell? Grab one of these now gentlemen, in a few years they will be as hot as tank tops, purple flairs and pornstar moustaches are now........

[Nanuq]

Gaytona? Pfffft that ain't bling. THIS is bling.

[themannier]

Looks like a bling deepsea...

[Sogeha]

You were the one who cried off with an alleged eye injury, glad you have come to appreciate fine horology, but if it ain't gen, it don't count

 

[By-Tor]

22 minutes ago, Nanuq said:

Gaytona? Pfffft that ain't bling. THIS is bling.

 

Okay enough is enough. Where's the ban button?

 

Shit... I don't have it anymore. 

[Sogeha]

You want to ban Nanuq? I can lend you my ban button

[By-Tor]

What is that "watch" Nanuq posted? 

I thought I've seen it all... and then I saw... uhh... that.

Amazing. 

 

[Sogeha]

Yes I've seen it before and can't remember details. Maybe it's on my Amazon wish list. 

[Mike on a bike]

1 hour ago, Nanuq said:

Gaytona? Pfffft that ain't bling. THIS is bling.

Yes I have seen this before, a pic resides in Bob's computer in a very dark secret place and he posts it rarely as the horological scaring is painful. The details are sketchy on who actually made this abortion of a watch but have no doubt they are out there, to see one in person would cause most here to commit suicide or shoot the wearer.....................

[Sogeha]

So cutting through all the flowery language, you are saying that is Nanuq's personal watch, yes?

[StoneP]

Sky Dweller? Which one? 'Cos I think the blue face SS one is beautiful.

 

 

 

Ain't no way this is an embarrassment!

 

 

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