Dutchy Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hi guys!! It's been quite a while and I've really missed you all. I'm now at York university (have been for two weeks). I went to a week long orientation for international students and this week is all about partying although I have mingled with other colleges (houses) more than my own as I feel more comfortable there. I am living with about 8 other British people on my floor and about 100 on the floors above. The people on my floor seem nice but don't seem to be very interested in getting to know me but that may be because I'm seen as a bit of an outsider (the first week was for internationals only and they all arrived the same morning, from the same country, so its understandable) I am feeling homesick to be honest, its difficult leaving your family behind and starting a whole new life in a different place, even if it is only for 3 years in total. Anyway, just wanted to drop in and say hi and let you guys know I havent forgotten you (I just got my laptop last night so I'm back on the internet!) If any of you ever come to York, let me know and we'll have a couple of drinks. It's good to be back!! All the best, Floris (Dutchy) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Dutchy - never forget.... ....you look like a chick. Congrats on the new start at Uni! Now get back to the pub! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viennawatch Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I know how you feel Floris, I went to Thailand for a year on an exchange program a few years back. Although it wasn't for as long as you, I felt similarly. However I was the only foreigner in my university, so it was a bit awkward for the locals to have someone like me join their ranks. Anyways, with a little housewarming parties sponsored by me, all was well and I became somewhat of a star... haha... I don't know how its going to be in the US. Obviously Thailand and the US are two totally different scenarios... but I am sure you will be just fine! Regards, VW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordRasta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Just wear your coolest rep watches and you'll be a star. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutchy Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hey guys, I knew you'd be there! It's tough adjusting but I know what you guys mean. It takes time. I am trying to warm up to the people on my floor but its difficult (like Viennawatch said) when everyone comes from the same place and you're the outsider. Anyway, my sister is coming over for a day tomorrow so that should be nice!! Thanks for the kind words (not you CS, lol) and hope to see you guys around!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hey buddy after all the schooling you have put in to get where you are what's 3 short years? Head down, nose to the grindstone and shoot for the moon and it will be over before you know it. I know you're going to kick butt at York, you just need to convince yourself. Go for it. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Congratulations, Floris!! York University is a fantastic place, in a wonderful city (my favourite "oop North" -- which to me, a Southerner, means anything north of Watford). Don't worry too much about feeling the outsider. Please remember that we British are normally wary of foreigners (island peoples are often like this), but there is a lot of curiosity there that is unspoken, and very palpable. Don't take the lack of warmth to heart, and just be yourself. In no time at all you will be making friends right and left, adding them onto Facebook and MySpace, wading a big social swath all over. Hang out at Fibbers, Toff's Gay Night, Reflex, Flares, Gallery always, The Zigmeister's if you're into alternative. Sainsbury's in town is actually a happenin' place, believe it or not...great place to meet people from all over the world, trying to figure out what Oxxo is. Look, I'm an Oxbridge product so I can't speak about York since the systems are different, but Freshers year is all about socialising. Of course, you must do your work, and be worthy of your spot. But have fun, make friends, and above all, relax. These are the best years of your life. Never forget that! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutchy Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hey buddy after all the schooling you have put in to get where you are what's 3 short years? Head down, nose to the grindstone and shoot for the moon and it will be over before you know it. I know you're going to kick butt at York, you just need to convince yourself. Go for it. Ken Ken!!!!!! I miss you man! how you holding up??? you all better?? sorry i couldnt contact you before. only got my laptop last night and internet took a bit to install. thanks for the words my friend. I really am having a bit of a rough time adjusting. you ever gonna come over to england? keep in touch mate!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dluddy Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Good to hear fro you Dutchy. Study hard and enjoy the experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordRasta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I thought we were talking about York in Toronto. I'm from Portsmouth but I've lived in the colonies all my life. I refuse to let my British citizenship go so I plan to go back next summer on holiday. As a British subject they HAVE to let me in the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I thought we were talking about York in Toronto. I'm from Portsmouth but I've lived in the colonies all my life. I refuse to let my British citizenship go so I plan to go back next summer on holiday. As a British subject they HAVE to let me in the country. LOL! Oops, York University in Toronto, is it, Dutchy? Sorry about that. As you can see, whenever I hear "Boston" I still think of our Boston -- so the same applies to York. FWIW, my boyfriend is a graduate of York University. He has his psychology degree from there, and has shown me photos of the gymnasium, library, etc. It looks a bit like a concrete mass of buildings, like so many modern Unis, but at least the area is friendly, suburban, and there's Yorkdale mall nearby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 No, York UK. That's why he (she...hehehe....) mentions it being full of British people.... Photos of the gymnasium? Must have been a fun evening.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 No, York UK. That's why he (she...hehehe....) mentions it being full of British people.... That's what I thought...so Carry on, Nurse! All my tips apply. Had friends who were up at York U, and I'm sure not much has changed since the late 90s. Photos of the gymnasium? Must have been a fun evening.... Well, we were comparing websites of his old Uni and mine. When it's a long-distance relationship, you're kinda stuck for fun stuff to do, knowwhattamean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raijor Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Dutchy it is Friday and I will have a dram or two for you - wish you well my friend - perhaps you my want to hoist a few too. Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b16a2 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Welcome back Dutchy! Good luck with finding the discount bread at the local supermarket, should turn up after 11pm! hehe Uni will fly by, I cant believe my second year is under way already. Def have to catch up for a drink at some point with some of the other UK collectors in the holidays too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutchy Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 hey guys, thanks for the words. im having a nice time with a lot of people but i cannot get along with the people on my floor. they all eat together and everytime they do, i'm somewhere else (meeting friends in other places). because of this they dont ask if i want to sit with them for dinner and such when i am at my place since im always gone and dont know them, so its a bit lonely. anyway, the uni is really nice and big and the town is fun too. its just difficult when you live with people who act as if they dont like you and you cant get behind the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watcher Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Welcome to York my friend! I was there on Sunday with my wife, very busy down by the River. go to the Kings Arms there, it is an institution in York. The Living Room across the water has a nice atmosphere for a meal too. We will have to meet up one Saturday soon. Maybe some other guys can come over too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Flo it's like going to a dance when you were younger, all the boys on one side of the room and all the girls on the other, both acting like they are quite content talking to their friends but really want to pair up and get on the dance floor. It's called breaking the ice, my advice is to invest in a good bottle of single malt and go door to door and invite them over for a few grams, even if they don't all come you will get your foot in with them with the few that do. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Flo it's like going to a dance when you were younger, all the boys on one side of the room and all the girls on the other, both acting like they are quite content talking to their friends but really want to pair up and get on the dance floor. It's called breaking the ice, my advice is to invest in a good bottle of single malt and go door to door and invite them over for a few grams, even if they don't all come you will get your foot in with them with the few that do. Invite them over for a few grammes of cocaine, Ken?? Oh I missed the Single Malt bit. Seriously, though, what Ken said is the exact truth, Dutchy. But it also reminds me that when we're younger, or the new kids in school, all the good advice is listened to, but hard to act on. There's shyness, and a sense of being rejected that comes into play. Dutchy, here's what to do. Study that little group carefully. Check out who has a strong personality in the group, and make sure you befriend him outside of his "posse". That'll be your in, sooner than later. Look, it's true of ANY society that new people often feel out of sorts in new situations, but IMHO, it's particularly true in England. There's an account I read of an Italian visitor to the UK in the 1770s, which said something like: "My hostess was very gracious, but when I entered the salon, everyone seemed to know each other, and they were in little groups all over -- without a kind word of greeting to me. They were impenetrable these British. It was like being given a game, and told to play, without knowing the rules." That's precisely how it seems to foreigners. In fact, it's not rudeness. It's the opposite, if you can believe it. What we are saying is that we wouldn't want to presume to point out that you don't belong, and therefore don't make a big fuss of you. Now, I'm not saying that's the case in your Halls of Residence, etc., but please know this quirk of our social dynamics, and you will be more at ease. P.S.: You know, I am half-German, so not fully British. I am also a very observant person, like any writer has to be. This is why I am able to step out of my situation, of my own culture, and analyse unspoken things. Sorry if it made anyone uncomfortable reading it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takashi Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hi there! Gotta extend my wishes to you. Good luck in a new place; yes gotta agree with ice breaking session. It works really smooth for me. Well, I am enjoying myself in Europe now All the best, friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutchy Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Great words!! Thanks guys for all of your help and I promise to keep you updated on how things unfold. I suppose it requires time. It's just a bit odd that you have a group of friends outside of your Halls and can't seem to click with those inside your own halls....ah well! I suppose it takes time! Thanks again for all of your advice/comments/support, its very kind of you all and if you ever come to York (named tourist city of the year by Tourism in the netherlands) then please let me know!!! All the best, Floris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UB7 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hey, best of luck to you @ your new university...When I first went off to college about 8 years ago I went through EXACTLY what you are going through...I was very shy at first and had a little trouble making friends in the first 2 or 3 weeks...My brother said it best, and really calmed me down by telling me that everyone at college is in the same position as you are, and never forget that...People in their first year are actually very eager to meet new people and expand their horizons, and you'll come to find that very soon buddy...Reach out, say HI to people you normally wouldn't and you'll be pleasantly surprised to see that everyone is really nice and willing to make new friends...Best of luck to you and enjoy the college girls while you can, IMO thats the best part =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Best of luck to you and enjoy the college girls while you can, IMO thats the best part =) I agree with everything you said, except it's college GUYS. @Dutchy: Final thing, remember that the friends you make in your first year, are often (for lack of a more elegant term) discarded by your second year. It's a normal process, and don't feel bad if you are the discardee or discarder. Also, it's harder to make friends in Alcuin rather than with Wentworth or Goodricke residents, but that's what I heard through the grapevine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkerouac Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Floris, I can't say much of anything that hasn't been said already. Be relaxed, be yourself, and the dorm friendships will sort themselves out. If these other kids are away from home for the first time, too, then they are probably at least as nervous as you are. A few beers, or even a basket of candy bars by your door, might be all the ice breaker that is needed. (Although I wish I had lived next to whoever said single malt scotch is the way to go.) Cheers, and enjoy where you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 Yeah, don't stress it. Everyone is in the same shoes, it'll all settle down and be a lot easier once classes start. Don't do the single malt thing, I think Ken has seen too many episodes of Inspector Morse - you'll be sharing your pipe next. I don't know if the comparison is valid - but at my halls the ground floor was all men for safety reasons, and then the floors above mixed. So the ground floor wasn't the source of social activity at all. It wasn't like everyone got along or even knew each others' names. I think foreign male students have a tougher time because in that stressful first week I think other folk stick with the herd and what they know. Strangely the Swedish girls didn't seem to have the same problem... But there's a whole weekend of live football matches coming up on a big screen not a million miles away from you.... grab a pint away you go... Our halls also organized a football team for kick arounds in that first week, just going door knocking seeing if anyone was up for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.