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Is it wrong to lie?


Rxus

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I'll make a long boring story short, and hopefully you guys can help me outta this predicament.

Recently I became very acquainted with the family of my best friends fiance. Her father is big into watches and after she noticed I rotated my watches she brought out that point wich I happily replied with the generic "Thats great, I'm sure hes got great taste in watches"

Well the weeks passed and the topic was thrown around a few more times, how her dad and I had that passion for watches.

This weekend that past i was invited to join my buddy to his future in-laws house and well as soon as i got out of my car he spots my Skyland.... :blink:

In a very cool tone (as i was preparing myself mentally for all this) responded how he had a great eye and that yes i had recently acquired this piece adn was very happy with it.

Within the course of one day he brought me a Corum with a gold bezel that was beautiful a Montblanc Timewalker GMT and talk on and on about his watches and their prices.

He also managed to squeeze in a short line about a small collection of "replica's with swiss movements"...but that was quick and he didn't make much of it to be honest.

The part that bothered me the most is how I told him my SKyland was around 3K.... SO in essence I told him my watch was a gen.

I felt bad, the guy was very nice to me, he welcomed me to his home and we chatted about watches for a few hours and appreciated every minute of it, as much as i did.

Am i stuck? Considering I will be seeing this guy more often since I will be walking in my best friends wedding and all. And hes got another very attractive (and single) daughter B)

PS If hes a memebr here, I"M SORRY...Sir :D

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Guest carlsbadrolex

YEP, take him aside at some point and be perfectly honest with him. Given his collection, and apparent knowledge of "swiss" reps... He probably figured it out anyway.

You will then have an entirely new topic to discuss in private, and most likely make a great new friend in the process!

T

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all of us here can see how easily this could happen. the bottom line is that it is going to be awkward from now on unless you come clean. like fxrandy said, just tell him you were embarrased to tell him but now feel even worse for leading on it was a gen. if he mentioned reps and has been out of the game for a while, he is going to love your skyland. good luck!

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I have to disagree with everyone on this. I would not have lied to someone like that (a person you may have some type of ongoing relationship with) in the 1st place. But, unfortunately, the deed has been done. Now, if the guy is the exception to the rule, he will applaud your sudden change of dishonesty & will appreciate your coming clean to him. But, more likely, he may accept your apology but forever view you with suspicion (especially in the case of his daughter). My advice would be to get a gen watch, which you will always wear when you meet anyone in that family (buy something old & unique that is likely to draw his attention (a vintage Longines would fit that bill nicely since some can be bought for well under a grand) & get him to inquire about it......that way, your conscience can be soothed because the last watch you told him was gen will have been a gen). And never wear any of your rep watches (especially the rep you told him was a gen) around them again. Or, if/when you start dating his daughter, sit him down & have a heart-to-heart chat.

On the other hand, I have to wonder if Dad's collection may be all or mostly reps as well. It is very odd for a (non-RWG member) gen collector to own (or admit to owning) a rep -- Swiss or otherwise. It never ceases to amaze me how many people who drive high end luxury cars & live in palatial estates own reps. And, believe it or not, alot of the same 'super reps' we see here are also being advertised in hundreds of thousands of spam emails that go out to the general public on a daily basis. Do the math. :unsure:

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I say come clean and tell him that you feel it's important to you that he knows you're not trying to be shady or lie...you were embarrassed and it's a replication but a fairly "High end" one as reps go but you felt it was essential to come clean to him to show that you are an open and honest person...especially since you're marrying his daughter.

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Hmm I don't know. Could go either way if you come clean and tell him. I'm sure that there are some gen collector's who are closet rep collectors as well (come on let's face it whether gen or rep most of us can only support the habit so much). Sounds like he's got some reps as well. You could either come clean and see what happens. Or buy a gen Skyland (not a bad gen to buy anyway and not all that expensive) and that way the watch that was presented as gen would be. You'd then be free to open up the conversation about your other watches being reps.

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Wow talk about having a bad concious...it's killing me...

But thanks gentlemen your advise so far is greatly appreciated.

I'll clarify a few points based on your comments.

1. He has the financial means to burn some cash on gens

2. I doubt his knowledge on watches is as deep as any veteran here

3. My biggest concern is his rep collection as he mentioned he got those online and I worry it could be from our trusted dealers in which case my Skyland and Aquaracer will be bad choices to wear around him.

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Guest carlsbadrolex

Two days ago I was sitting on the couch watching some dumb arsed reality TV show about Million Dollar Real Estate in SoCal. One of the realtors drives a black AMG 55 and had been wearing an AP ROO.

About 20 minutes in to the show, I got a glimpse of the watch... SECONDS AT 9 FOLKS... YEP, its an MBW seconds at nine!!!

He made over $120k commissions on a sale during this episode and blew $700 on two pair of shoes BUT he wears a replica AP.

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Well, based on what your future intentions seem to be I wouldn't go clean. I'd make sure to be only wearing gens from here on forward and in your future conversations hint at the fact that you've seen some top shelf quality reps and that you too own one or two along with your gens. Then offer to bring one to a future meeting. IMHO, that would still leave your reputation intact and introduce reps into the mix. All this could spur more indepth discussions with him about watches in general and bring you two closer. I think in this fashion you can own up to the fact that you own reps without having to outright admit that you lied to him.

Yes, it's cop out, but it's an option. But... I also think honesty is always the way.

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I probably won't see the man for another 2 weeks... And ive decided to just show up next time wearing my cheapest rep a Pam 111h and just tell him this is ONE of my reps and see where things go from there and if the [censored] hits the fan...oh well :mellow:

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I can totally sympathize. When I first met my now wife, she lied to her parents about the way we met. I wasn't happy about this, and said I'd rather be honest with them, but, I got the "if you don't go along with it, you'll never see me again..." ultimatum, so, like a chump, I went along with her lie, but, only in a very vague way, and only by stretching the truth as much as possible. Now, four years later, I am as much a part of this family as I was my biological parents, and it does bug me that I haven't been entirely honest with my inlaws. But. I look at it this way. It is such a trivial detail, it does not alter who I am as a person, it does not make them think I am someone or something I am not, and, in all honesty, is not something which they ever need truly know. I admit, if they were to find out the truth, then they would no doubt be offended, wonder what else I might have lied about etc etc, but, it's not something they ever need know the truth about...

With regards your own situation, I totally sympathize, but would say to consider your future with this family, and what it is likely to be. Is this just a case that you are seeing a lot of them because of the wedding, and, in the future, this will likely become less, or, is there a real possibility that you could start dating (or even marry) the other daughter? If it's the former, then consider it a little white lie, which, if asked about in the future, you could admit to, but claim to have been caught off-guard and embarassed, and takethe hit to your credibility. If it's the latter, then I'd suggest saving for the gen, possibly coming up with a reason not to wear your rep for a while (sent back to the factory for adjustment, or something) go on from there, and vow never to lie about something to him again. Another thought... Does your friend (or your friend's fiance) know that the watch is a rep? Might they know that their father in law/dad collects reps, and mentioned to him that they have a friend who also collects reps, so might he have even known (or suspected) all along that it was a rep? If that is the case, the longer you continue with the lie, the more offended he would become...

At the end of the day, you can only do as your conscience dictates, and, lie or tell the truth, after a while, such a minor issue will not permanantly ruin your credibility if uncovered. At the very worst, you could simply justify your collection as frugality, rather than spending crazy money on watches, which, a future in law might view as irresponsible, so potentionally not able to give financial security to their daughter... You'll work something out in the end :good:

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You shoudn't have done it but you did. So now you should fess up. Is there a possibility that he will always be suspicious of you in the future? Of course as well he should be. You were capable of lying to him once you could lie to him again or worse to his daughter. That's life. If it happens you'll just have to deal with it.

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My advice would be to get a gen watch, which you will always wear when you meet anyone in that family (buy something old & unique that is likely to draw his attention (a vintage Longines would fit that bill nicely since some can be bought for well under a grand) & get him to inquire about it......that way, your conscience can be soothed because the last watch you told him was gen will have been a gen)

That advice is worth heeding. Seriously. Now I see why the admonition to buy the gen makes sense. (It didn't make sense to me before, I apologize for not reading well).

I'm just curious,

Did it stop at you telling him it was around 3K? Did you go any further? (Like, I bought it at....)

Telling him that you paid a few grand is totally different from saying "Yeah, it's real." You could probably explain "It's real TO ME" later on, but how you will explain adding a 3K price tag to a watch you bought as a known rep is not so easy.

BUYING THE GEN WILL SOOTHE THE $3,000 LIE.

Pay Freddie

Edited by Codammanus-2014
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You shoudn't have done it but you did. So now you should fess up. Is there a possibility that he will always be suspicious of you in the future? Of course as well he should be. You were capable of lying to him once you could lie to him again or worse to his daughter. That's life. If it happens you'll just have to deal with it.

That's very true. Honesty is something which I personally value above anything else, so for me to have been put in a situation where I could not be 100% honest, was an incredibly unpleasant one. There are, however, two things which ease my conscience: 1) I never actually lied to my inlaws, I was simply vague, even to the point of nearly contradicting what my wife had told them, without having to actually lie. 2) I suspect that they guessed the truth long ago, and have still accepted me into their family. They simply never raise the issue. As a Libra, dishonesty is sadly a personality trait which could come all too easily for me, so I strive to be as honest as possible. If it was down to me, I would have told them immediately upon meeting them, but, I did not want to throw away what has turned out to be a fantastic relationship, when I knew that I could avoid the issue without having to actually lie simply by shifting the conversation. Another factor which has to be considered, is that my wife is rather neurotic, and craves her parent's approval, and will still lie to them about silly things if she thinks it is what they want to hear, even when her mum calls her on them. (a bit like Carrie from Sex in the City) Does that make me distrust her? Well, let's just say that I know that in her heart, she is a good person, and generally very honest, but, I accept her neuroses have an effect on her behaviour. Paradoxically, she is incapable of keeping a secret (she will often say "Don't tell mum..." but then tell her herself), so I know that she would never lie about any truly serious issue.

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I'm just curious,

Did it stop at you telling him it was around 3K? Did you go any further. If so, you might have passed the point....naw....on further consideration telling him that you paid a few grand is totally different from saying "Yeah, it's real." You could probably explain "It's real TO ME" later on, but how you will explain a three thousand dollar lie....

The next time watches come up, say "I just wanted to impress you" or something like that. Because you didn't just say "it's real" you told a lie with a dollar amount.

Now I see why the admonition to buy the gen makes sense. (It didn't make sense to me before, I apologize for not reading well).

BUYING THE GEN WILL FIX THE $3,000 LIE.

This is what I was meaning myself. It would be one thing to say "Yeah, they retail for $3000..." and then conveniently change the subject to last week's game, quite another to say "Yeah, I got it from *insert swanky AD of choice here* and paid in cash..." I have once had a similar conversation with someone about PAMs. They had asked if it (my 104) was very expensive. I said "They can be, but I got this very cheap online..." To anyone, that should set the *IT'S A FAKE* alarm ringing, but, they can either choose to let that alarm ring un-noticed, and continue with the conversation about the brand, (which was what we were ultimately discussing) rather than the watch itself, or, they can then go down the "Is that a fake?" route, which, in itself, is a very rude question to ask someone. As it was, we just continued the discussion about the history of the brand, and the "Is it real?" question never arose. If they had outright asked, I would have told them it was a rep, as I have several people.

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TeeJay,

I was going to ask that question (or do a lot of reading) as to how folks answer when people ask "is it fake" I like your answer and it was exactly what I was thinking to say. It is rude to ask that question, and if necessary I would have no reservations about saying its a rep.

Thanks for that.

Rxus,

You may want to make that a policy for future reference. Reps serve their purpose in more ways than one, but when for some there is that temptation to lie, and it could have an impact on a serious relationship as this one is (not passing or causal) that is totally avoidable and unnecessary.

But I would like to know though. Did you go into where you plopped down $3k? Did you elaborate on that tale?

Why does this situation remind me of SEINFELD?

Edited by Codammanus-2014
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