Ah, well said. Can we start a new "Where in the world is Victoria?" contest here? Perhaps a sightings bulletin board?
Irregardless (don't you doubly hate it when people use that term?) you can define your singular vs. plural regular nouns in much the same way that your erstwhile students describe astronomical objects: by their surroundings.
Have you ever seen a black hole? No, so one describes and "observes" them by their cosmic effects on their neighbors.
In much the same way, the verbal neighbors of the noun in question will describe the noun's plurality: "a" moose "eats" the hiker, vs. "two" moose "eat" the hiker.
Just like a black hole, those things that surround your object of interest define and categorize it.
QED, voila' and all that.
PS: 0 + 0 = 0