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So my daughter wanted to join our forum


Ezio

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Ken, that is priceless!! Please send 100 copies to Ezio, sounds like he's gonna need them

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Yes please haha :D

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Just remember Daddy's Ten Rules of Dating:

· Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

· Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

· Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will use my nail gun to fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

· Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate. When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

· Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early".

· Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

· Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

· Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to compel my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

· Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

· Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I actually handed that to one of my daughters suitors and had him sign it. My daughter always warned her dates of my military background in Spec Ops. By the time they left on their date; the kid was scared shitless! She was always brought home early much to her dismay. Fear = Respect!
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And of COURSE when all you lot where 16 years old you respected your girlfriends fathers wishes... and didn't immediately, aherm, yes, when the father was out of view!!

Yep i did i was a Dream for a father

Didnt do anything till i married her or something

Im a angel myself :D

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Ha ha I have that t shirt and my daughter is only 16 months old! It's the last one that gets me, you think, eh? And then omg! Lol

I'm thinking of getting lots of different tops printed with the same rules for when my daughter is dating, some on the back some on the front, so every times she's picked up they get a reminder....

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you need this shirt my friend

 

daughters_zps2868ba3b.jpg

Number 10 : Ewww! That could go so, so, so wrong for the father!!!

 

Daughter: "DAD!! WTF are you doing!!!"

Dad: "Err, trying to get your bf pregnant with twins..."

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