KB Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great proportion of insults became 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." "He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -- Abraham Lincoln "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billywhiz Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 lol, love the churchill. My fave Bessie Braddock: You, sir, are drunk. Churchill: Yes, madam, I am. But in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eunomians Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Excellent post! Long live cleverness--especially in this stale digital age. Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Semper ubi sub ubi ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alt.watch.obsessive Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Dear Ken, I wanted to let you know that someone has hacked into your account and is making long pointless posts in your name. I suggest you contact the administrator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted February 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Dear Ken, I wanted to let you know that someone has hacked into your account and is making long pointless posts in your name. I suggest you contact the administrator. Pointless! I'll have you know there is plenty of point to my posts, I'm not one to go on and on and on and on over nothing you know, why once my mama told me to shut my trap and not make a sound and I tell you i didn't even breathe until someone noticed I was turning blue and another thing I know what's what and where's where and yada yada, blah, blah, blah.......................... Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxman Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Excellent post Ken, Thanks Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 (edited) Meh. Brilliant post Demsey! Was there a point? I fell asleep after the fourth paragraph you tried to impress us with your 'would be' intelligence......... Happy Timekeeping! Highflyingclive Edited February 1, 2009 by Demsey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidge007 Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Bravo Nice post, brought a smile, and even a little chortle. cheers man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Churchill - god! (with a small g) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Anon - "I may be big headed but if I stuck it in your mouth it would rattle about from side to side." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat.tail.event Posted February 8, 2009 Report Share Posted February 8, 2009 Great post, thanks for that compilation. I always find myself revisiting Oscar Wilde quotes...here are some more. Oscar Wilde on the subject of women * Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. * All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. * Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. * A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. * If we men married the woman we deserve, we should have a very tedious time of it. * In married life three is company and two is none. * A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing. * Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. * Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed. * As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. * A woman will flirt with anyone in the world, so long as other women are looking on. * She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. * A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertk Posted February 8, 2009 Report Share Posted February 8, 2009 Thanks Ken. Great stuff. I do miss the class of yesterday as opposed to the no class of today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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