twinfake Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 Not been on here for a while but thought this might be an interesting post. 3 months ago my long term girlfriend [tracey] leaves me, and she also takes our young son [reece]. We are still friends and sometimes take our son out together [although im quietly trying to get her back lol]. The other day we are out with reece and we are talking about things and she told me that one of the reasons she went was my obsession [spelling?] with watches. She told me it was not right that i would rather look at a [nice] watch movement rather than porn lol, which is close to being true. Also i admit that once or twice [not always] i was selfish and had some spare money and a watch came before, more important things. I have not worn a watch since she left me funny enough, but yesterday was the first day i started wearing one again, and now i feel the need to buy more, Gen, Reps, i see a watch that looks interesting cheap or expensive, i need it lol. I know many a guy has lost a family for his passion, cars, bikes, drink, watches etc, but is it really worth it in the end? Aidan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadtorrent Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 It's tricky because you have a kid in the mix...but the bottom line, for a relationship to work long term, the parties involved have to accept the differences each other has. If she doesn't like your interests...that shouldn't be something you have to change if it's an interest that doesn't really hurt anybody. If there was a problem like your kid hasn't eaten for 2 days because you had no money, then suddenly bought 3 more watches...then there's a problem with priorities and that does need fixing. But, watches are a harmless albeit expensive hobby...and an interest in them should not be the reason to end a relationship...unless it became like any real addiction, all consuming and destructive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iceberg1459 Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 serious? break your habits and get your family back. its not worth it! just for a GF (depends) not so important but family is different, i know because my parents were also divorced then married again just for me and my brother (but seems like they found themselves again, otherwise it would be weird) i dont know you but i would ban myself from forums, buy a gen watch, but just one watch and wear it forever..at least you can pass it to your son OR dont wear any watch, just forget it whole thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fcaap_dan Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 If it wasn't for watches, she would have left for another reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member X Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 (edited) You can't really fight a desire though - I could never give up being interested in cars and driving, it's part of my make up. Without such things we become mere puppets of others' wishes. I say speak to her and, if you do want to get back together, talk through your issues. If you can reach a compromise position where you spend no more than $XXX dollars a month or a fixed percentage of your take home pay on watches (although she doesn't have to know your full take home pay and overtime ) in return for her not getting stressed about it, then all will be good It's like you demanding that she doesn't buy shoes or doesn't look at the Sales - impossible to maintain without bearing a grudge about it that will make you angry in the long term!! Edited June 3, 2009 by Member X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbh Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 If it wasn't for watches, she would have left for another reason. As she said, watches were only one of the reasons. I'm sure it wasn't the most important one. If you'd been on the net looking at porn instead of watches, she'd be complaining about that instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThinkBachs Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 I suppose we need to know what your definition of "obsession" is before making an educated response, but I'll assume that it's an hour a day. The habit is not the real reason. This week it's watches, next week it's hunting, bowling, golf, gardening... There's something else going on that she's not ready to deal with or understand. I've been married for almost 20 years, and it still floors me that occasionally my wife's friends thank me for letting her go out or do something with them. The thing that makes our relationship better every day is that we're friends first- best friends. We accept each other for who we are and support each other in every way, no matter what. She has things that she enjoys doing, and I have mine. Together, we share in enjoying the greatest part of our lives, our daughter. Everything else comes second. My first guess is that your GF might be somewhat insecure. Look at her family and see if there are any issues with her parents that she may be carrying into your relationship. When you give up something that makes you happy (as long as it's not so obsessive that it has a negative effect on finances or family life), you lose a part of yourself. Sure, it's OK to make sacrifices, but remember that it's OK to have something that's yours. It's something that makes you who you are, and it doesn't mean that you love her or your son any less because you do it. See if you can figure out what's really bothering her and work with her to work through them. It might also help to explain a little about your "obsession." Maybe help her to understand a little about what you see in this hobby, and the relationships you might have with others men who share your interest. Let her read some of the posts and she'll begin to understand that she has nothing to worry about- who the heck would be interested in trying to hook up with one of us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 My wife once said she would rather me look at porn than watches, at least i dont want to buy all the porn i see! but if things are in modereation then there should not be a real reason for here leaving you, she would have found another excuse. belive me an obsession in watches can get worse than reps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
By-Tor Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 Why should anyone complain about a harmless hobby/passion like watches? I don't get it. My fiancee doesn't understand my watch passion, either... and why I'm spending so much money on them. But she has never said anything even remotely negative about it. And why should she... it's MY business where I want to spend my own hard earned money to... I'm a big boy and I do whatever I want with my money (and time). She buys lots of clothes, makeup, etc. blahblah... you know... all kinds of 100% useless "women's stuff" with her money (sometimes even using my money lol). I'm not complaining, either. Despite living together, people SHOULD have their own lives, and their own hobbies, friends and interests. If I were you, I would rather let her go than become "pussy whipped". World is full of nice women. Just my 2c. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 As folks have already said, if it wasn't the watches, it would have been something else. I wouldn't like to say what, but watches is too petty to be a key motivating factor... At the end of the day, even if you don't get back together with her, try and maintain good relations for the sake of your son, so the one thing he can be sure of, is consistency Sorry to hear about it, and best of luck with everything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numptyj Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 You must seriously be looking at watches and buying them waaay to much for her to be thinking like that, if not then there is something wrong with her. At the end of the day you need to have a talk and like others have mentioned here fix a spending limit per month on watches and a fixed time looking on forums/sites about it. You've got a young son surely theres nothing better than getting outside with him and playing ball or football or something. I dont have kids but I know if i did id want to be around them as much as possible. my two cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted June 3, 2009 Report Share Posted June 3, 2009 She sounds like a kook. Then again, aren't they all just. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hank7502 Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 She told me you had a small [censored]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardo Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 She told me you had a small [censored]. Is that really necessary? Especially on a somewhat sensitive subject? I realize its in jest but really?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat.tail.event Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 She sounds like a kook. Then again, aren't they all just. The pertinent, logical advice has already been dispensed above. So I will latch on and say....yes, the b*tches are crazy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 Ok I think we are missing a piece of the puzzle here. Let's re-cap.... 3 Months ago your GF takes your son and walks out the door, now just the other day she states that watches were part of the problem. Do you mean that when she left she gave no indication what-so-ever as to why? And even now after 3 Months she only fills you in on a small part of the problem? I'm sorry but if this is the case then it's a lost cause, as quite frankly if a woman doesn't want to tell you how you blew it then she just doesn't want you back. Then there's the point that any woman who says they would prefer you to look at porn than watches hasn't really thought that through, I think if anyone of us spent as much time looking at porn as we do on this site our women will drag us off to the shrinks real quick. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenacious_b Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 Family first; especially when there are kiddos. If you want a watch, set as a reward for accomplishing a financial goal, and treat yourself when you reach your goal. This hobby has inspired me to look for different ways to make money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fakemaster Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 (edited) There is one really important thing that everyone seemed to miss, She was willing to watch porn? Edited June 4, 2009 by fakemaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corgi Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 She told me you had a small [censored]. First thing I thought was that she's cheating on him, a little dim, and tried to find excuses where she could to be with her new lover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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