Pay special attention to the ring lock engraving in your QC, most of the ones I've seen have been crooked and weird. (One example, the "I" in "ring" looks like it's falling over.)
Excellent balanced discussion of the topic here:
http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-riddle-of-the-gun'>http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-riddle-of-the-gun
OK, that's 85 essays written by three guys anonymously. I'd like to see where they write about it (not disputing just yet, but I'd like to see.)
Also, it's quite clear that the authors (Hamilton, Jay and Madison) are a very small subset of the "founding fathers." They were influential but not the only game in town.
Crappy situation but seems IMO that your instincts are right. You've got a short time left with him, you can't compromise that. Maybe send the kids to a motel where they can reflect on their attitudes and start thinking like grownups. However it plays out, I hope it goes as well as possible given the circumstances.