hambone Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 This is an awesome forum ,a brotherhood and random collection of decent gentlemen, (a few gentlewomen as well). Having been a member since 2006, after my very first post, as I recall, some knickers were twisted by my viewpoints. I am sorry to all who may have been offended by my odd sense of humor and unpopular points of view. Life is, as we all know a lonely, and challeging endeavor. It is , however great to be alive, and we all must treasure each day we wake up and start fresh. There are so many incredible options to explore if we allow ourselves to let go of the inhibitions which bind us to our daily routine. Perhaps I am preaching to the choir. I hope so. ....My Dad, who I have visited in Colorado 3 times in the last two months, is dying from chronic alchoholism. His internal organs are destroyed, his once brilliant mind is now befuddled, he is incontinant, and now he is my child to care for until he passes away/ I have to make the dowmstairs bedroom/bathroom safe for invalids, hire a full time nurse, and watch him pass away. We all die. It is part of life. It is funny though, how it seems so traumatic when the person is a loved family member. We at least have the ability to not grieve for our own impending demise. Moreover, our concerns are seated in the wish that those who love us will not be filled with grief and remorse. Most of us anyway. My Father was in his time, and still to this day, a very charismatic, movie star handsome fellow. This made him as arrogant and selfish as a person could be. He was not a good father, my mother divorced him decades ago, but still I love him dearly, My Dad is my hero. No one else earns my devotion more than my Father. My Son and Daughter , 22 and 25, have been told by me since they could speak is that the most important thing in this world is your family. This is a tough subject,. Frankly, there is no other place I feel comfortable in sharing a painful situation. RWG has given me a hobby which I love. Our Norwegian CEO is a kick ass individual, and I thank all of you for making RWG am awesome, international hangout. Be well, and live in peace my friends. photo is "Okie" my hybrid wolf/Siberian Huskie. Why cant dogs live as long as people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cats Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 Hambone thanks for sharing your story of your father. It most be difficult time to see him slip away further and further every day. RWG is a place were some people care about each other and not only show a passion for watches towards each other. I hope that you can spent a lot of quality time with your dad before he passes away. Stay positive and i wish you a lot of strenght. Carpe Diem Cats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redwatch Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 Sorry to hear that but always know that we really are a brotherhood here and this is as safe of a place as any to share these sort of moments. I truly hope that his passing is as peaceful and painless as can be given his circumstances. Knowing that you are there to take care of him, even if he can't voice it, I'm certain means the world to him. All the best and my thoughts are with you and your dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ephry73 Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks for sharing brother. It is always tough to open up, but this empowers us and allows us to cope better. Just make sure that the memories are always there, both good and bad. It is in the memories of those that love us that we can truly live forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justasgood Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 I love you brother and I pray that your wisdom and kindness are known to all that you touch. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Best wishes to you. I've been through much the same thing, and there are no easy words. It's terribly sad, and yet we all muddle on because, well, it's the best option there is. You just cherish what time is left. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Hambone, thanks for saying this. I know how hard that was. Like the guys said this is far more than a watch forum ... that barely scratches the surface. We are in many ways a band of brothers. And so brother, this is the time to build memories. You are the artist and the rest of his life is your easel. Now is when you paint the memories you'll carry the rest of your life and it's your choice how they will look. It will be VERY hard, and will draw on every resource you've got to give. And then some. But right now is when you're going to make the superhuman effort and you're going to AMAZE yourself on what you're capable of doing. You're going to make a masterpiece. And you'll have the rest of your life to remember your dad in this painting. Be strong, don't walk this path alone brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgtguk Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Hambone, thanks for saying this. I know how hard that was. Like the guys said this is far more than a watch forum ... that barely scratches the surface. We are in many ways a band of brothers. And so brother, this is the time to build memories. You are the artist and the rest of his life is your easel. Now is when you paint the memories you'll carry the rest of your life and it's your choice how they will look. It will be VERY hard, and will draw on every resource you've got to give. And then some. But right now is when you're going to make the superhuman effort and you're going to AMAZE yourself on what you're capable of doing. You're going to make a masterpiece. And you'll have the rest of your life to remember your dad in this painting. Be strong, don't walk this path alone brother. I was struggling for words to offer you some support hambone and I couldn't have put it better than this.....my thoughts are with you bud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OmegaPOFL Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 sorry to hear about your father Hambone.. :/ hope you're doing as best as you can considering.. you can always talk to us if needed cool looking dog also! _____________________ Sent using tapatalk and mental power Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave123 Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Brother,I feel your pain. My grandfather was the same,died the same reason,handsome Irish boy with a drinking problem. He passed at 59 years old when i was 11,his liver failed and i watched him turn to skin and bones in months. My father,the same,lived a stressed life,drank like a fish every night,went thru numerous heart attacks,insisted that passing on hamburgers and salt was key,but his bottle of rye every night was a non issue. I took him and my mother to Cabo over new years to spend time with him,he sat with the 20 year olds all night for 2 weeks shooting tequila,had another heart attack 3 hours after getting off the plane with me here in Toronto,got thru that,kept drinking,i buried him at the end of March this year,57 years old. I will always miss my father. And that leaves me,many know my history on these forums. Rambling now,time for a refill,but me and you are friends,its too bad we didnt meet when i was in Vegas,we have alot in common,i guess. Good luck to you,and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave123 Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Don't come on the forum much anymore,but you got the tears flowing here man. still friends here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave123 Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 I love you brother and I pray that your wisdom and kindness are known to all that you touch. Peace. That Rolex i bought from you to give my dad as a present,to replace the Rolex he had and had to pawn due to hard times,he got drunk and busted before he died. Its in pieces somewhere in Baja California right now. He and that watch,went out with a bang for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogerthat Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Difficult situation for sure but value your chance to say goodbye. All to often our lived ones pass before we feel we have closure or told them how important they were to us (I am thinking of my fathers passing just a couple of years ago) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambone Posted July 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 Thank you kindly for your heartfelt comments. You guys are awesome, and have made me feel better about things. Live well and be good to yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dluddy Posted July 16, 2012 Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 I did it for my Dad and was there when he passed. Best thing I ever did. Funny, he passed 24 years today. I feel your sorrow but know you are doing the right thing. Glad you shared Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormTooper4 Posted July 16, 2012 Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 Thank you for your honesty and you should be commended for your mature attitude to this challenging period in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambone Posted July 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 The responses to my post make me cry. God bless you for understanding my situation. My Dad always said that if he was in the position of being on near life support that he wanted the plug pulled. I am responsible for that, and I simply cannot make that decision. The Nurse told me that ribs are broken and it is severely traumatic to bring a patient back from a code blue. How in the bloody hell can I decide if my Daddy lives or dies?? When I talk to him, he wants only to live with me, but he needs 24 hour care. everything in life takes it's natural course, yet when faced with a dillema as I am, it sure is a tough road to travel. Thank you again for the kind words expressed. You have helped me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Hambone, how's it going this week? Hanging in there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambone Posted July 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Nanuq, thanks for asking. My Pop has an endoscopy yesterday to attempt to drain two huge tumors on his pancreas. The one, which is apple sized was successful, as a stint was placed to drain the tumor. The second, a grapefruit size tumor, was to hardend to place a stint. The doc told me this AM that surgery is the only option. At his age and deteriorated condition, it is a huge risk. Since May this has been agonizing. Again, thank you for your concern, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Did the doctor say if the tumors had metastasized? Have they spread to other organs or are they still localized? If they have not spread, perhaps the doctors can do endoscopic surgery to remove them, and that will be much easier on your Dad. It is a hard question to talk about, but has he thought about a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order? That would take the decision from your hands and place it in his, and then if he does require drastic efforts to save him, the doctors will be forbidden from doing so. Then they will simply make him as comfortable as possible. This is hard to think about, but it's important. I'm sorry for saying it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambone Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Nanuq, Sounds like you are in medicine. My Dad's tumors are benign, so they say, but the are filled with old jellied blood, The grapefruit sized one has had a stint placed, and is draining very slowly. It will take months. The apple sized tumor has a very thick surface which prevents endoscopy measures, Surgery is the only answer. The two growths on the pancreas have collapsed the stomach to the size of a tennis ball. As a result, he is malnourished to the extreme. Introvenous feeding is in place. I talk to Dad and the Doctors every day. Life is fleeting and unpredictable. I often spoke to my father about this situation, rather he brought it up, and said many times he never wants to be a vegetable.Making the choice to not recusitate him was overwhelmingly difficult. The Doctor helped me through this experience and made me realize that in a code blue, the measures taken involve broken ribs, extreme pain, and life support tubes for the duration. Allowing him to pass peacefully is the right choice and the one I made. To not do so, would be selfish on my part, as I dont want to lose my Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm sorry I took so long to get to this but I do wish you the very best it is so very hard when it's a loved one. My wife and I only recently nursed my father back to health after his second by pass operation, this time he was a complete invalid for a few months, but with mum gone 3 years now we were willing to do anything it took to care for dad. Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonyyammine Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Sucks made me think about the way my dad died. Nothing to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambone Posted July 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 I am sorry for you Tony. We all tend to regard our Dad as the bigger than life hero. I always did, even though he was not around for most of my life. When we are young and lucky enough to have our parents alive, even though they are no longer together, it evolves into a role reversal, where we , the kids become the parents. Perhaps this is God's way of teaching us that honoring our parents really is one of the ten comandmants, as they gave us life, raised us, and in their last years, taking care of them is the way of things. Life is not easy and life is a state of mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stolikat Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hambone I just read this thread. I would like to let you know that I am sending all the positive energy your way I can. I lost my father when I was sixteen to cirrhosis of the liver he was only 45. Keep fighting the good fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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