I Miss You Guys

[RobbieG]

I thought I would drop a line to the crew as many have expressed concern. I'm sure plenty don't miss me at all either. lol. Anyway, thanks to my inner circle for trying to keep some tabs on me and for caring about my well being. It is much appreciated.

In short, I haven't been well at all. I have been gravely ill for some time now. Stricken with some rare endocrine disorder that mimics neurological conditions with extreme pain and muscle wasting. Basically, my pituitary response in my brain is impared so I don't balance my own endocrine system. It is horrible. Truly hell on earth. Sometimes I can't eat for days because my digestive motility leaves food in my stomach for days, or my testosterone will go so low that I am too weak to move. For you bodybuilders out there - ByTor, Lani, etc. - you know the numbers - my T will go as low as 40 intermittently! Yeah, I said 40. Thyroid too. I'm either racing or slowed to a crawl. I'll swing 20 pounds of wait back and forth every two to three weeks. The muscle wasting is coming from the lack of hormone and brain response. All really too complicated to explain really. I have been to almost every specialist in the country. I'm going to be in the record books for this one. It baffles them all.

Anyway, it has been slowly progressive up until this year and has just really got worse. The worst part is there is nothing they can do for me. There is no surgery or anything possible. I'm just fu*ked up and it will probably kill me one day, either by wasting of the respiratory muscles or malnutrition or something else. Anyway, I'm not trying to bum anyone out but I thought I would at least let you know why I haven't been around. It has taken all of me to keep my business going and I just don't have anything left for fun. I kind of lied a bit to those who had asked and made it seem like I was just extra busy with work. Sorry about that. I just didn't have the heart to really get into how sick I have been.

You know, I gotta say...many of you know me from my "forum" personality which is sometimes more than a little brash, pushing buttons and keeping things lively. But that isn't me really. When stuff like this happens it really takes you down to the core of who you are and what is important. I am passionate and motivated and have worked so hard to be succesful and all that and then you realize none of it means anything. I think then you kind of go through a "sorry" period where you wonder what the point of all this really is. It is like I finally arrived at a bunch of milestones I was trying to reach, you know, goals or whatever. I am deeply in love with the best woman on earth that was made for me. I've made a ton of money in the last few years too so the financial stuff has been very good to me. I can take care of all my friends and my family forever and it is a cash cow that will only grow and get bigger. But guess what? The irony is that just when I literally have it all I can't begin to enjoy it on any level. I'm sitting up at night thinking of sh*t like - "What if my right arm is too weak to hold her hand...". "What can I do to make sure my business continues to run well when I die so my loved ones will always be taken care of.." It is just pathetic and horrible. If you don't have your health you have nothing. You all know the old RobbieG. Love him, or hate him. I want to be happy-go-lucky speeding around in my new Porsche and not giving a fu*k who doesn't like it. Needing only a good steak and a single malt to exist. I have been a middle aged adult for some time now. But I guess I just grew up.

Take care guys. This forum has been a very important part of my life. Good watches. Good times. Good friends. I'll see ya when I see ya.

Peace.

[Pugwash]

Thanks for sharing. It's both great and depressing to hear from you. I hope those boffins in the lab coats can sort out what's happening and you can get back to health.

[greg_r]

Damn Robbie - I am so sorry to hear that. Having had long spells of serious illness myself, I know how difficult it can be to maintain normal human contact.

Take care of yourself - I hope that things improve for you before too long

[jeff g]

As you know your contributions have been sorely missed.

All that know you here wish you the best. I am so sorry to hear of your

medical woes. As we age, so comes the trials. Stick with us. When you are able stay in touch.

Lots of support around here.

Be well.

[P4GTR]

Robbie.

I remember when you showed up here. I told you I loved you!

I pray that you never have to leave until you're ready to go.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little selfish (of me) to hope you can find some distraction here, because I'd like to see you around more. Who else can type over 4 paragraphs for a wristshot.

My thoughts and prayers for sure brother.

[lanikai]

You my friend are always in my thought's and prayers... no matter what .. I'm sure you'll come out of this.. just believe..

I know what it means not to have your body functioning as we're used to .. and coming out of left field makes it more complex

I know it sounds trite but sometimes you have to believe that everything happens for a reason..

and God doesn't just dump you....

I know the feeling all to well not being interested in things that used to be enjoyable.. your just sort of caught up in the moment all the time

God didn't bring you this far to dump you man !!

Love ya Man !!

give a holla on you phone if you ever feel up to it..

Aloha

R

[freddy333]

Hang in there, Robbie, & keep searching out more specialists. There is likely someone out there who holds the answer, you just have to find him.

[Luthier]

Robbie, remember one thing - sometimes even cancer just disappear without a trace with no operation or medications. I think all depend of how strong your "Qi" is. You love life, you have what to live for- love, good things, like your Porsche, friends, sunsets and ocean breeze, so, I am sure you'll survive and will live long life. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart, be well and stay strong, buddy, ok?

[Cats]

Robbie,

i don't know what to say.

Hang in there and never loose faith.

This may sound easy but there will be a time that life will be back to normal again.

Get well soon.

Carpe Diem

Cats

[hackR]

wow...

Robbie -- you are a helluva man to write these honest and sincere feelings...i have always respected you as a knowledgeable forum expert -- but i have to say, you're spirit and strength, your honesty and your openness put you in a much different league...people are defined by who they are and not by what they have...we do all, from time2time, forget this as we chase the many "things" in life...

know this, my friend, you make a difference -- making a difference with those you love and care about is what life's all about...

all the best to you and your family...RobH

[andreww]

Get well Robbie, you are greatly missed

[RobbieG]

Thanks for all the kind words. It is true, without health all the nice things in teh world can't even be enjoyed. I would trade all my money and all my things for a cure in a second. I'm just trying to be honest when I speak about goals and stuff. When you are passionate you work hard to achive milestones, but after all this I'm not sure that is a good idea. I never learned to live for the day. I work at things to finish them and maybe don't always appreciate the journey. What good is a fast new car if you can't work the clutch? I love my watches and cars and "stuff", but mostly I live for my family. Lately they are teaching me that I need not be burdened with the weight of worry of taking care of them all financially. It turns out I'm the one who worries about money and safety and not them. They are all living for the day and not planning for the future. I hope someday before I die I figure out how to do that...

The prognosis is not good if I continue to have swallowing and respiratory muscles affected, but I hope you are all right and I pull through. I'll focus on those thoughts and hopefully it will all work out. If not, I have to say I have had a good run here on this ride called life.

[RobbieG]

As a side note with regard to money - The other day a freind was talking about a relative that was really frugal and he went out of his way to explain that he was that way because he grew up in the depression.

I realized for the first time myself that was why I have been on such a mission my whole life to earn millions, just like many of our Grandfathers did. the old school work ethic and all that. Many of you may not know that I grew up VERY VERY poor. I don't mean poor in the usual sense. I mean major deprivation of basic needs like going hungry from not enough food and freezing from no heat. Basically all due to a lazy abusive Stepfather who didn't want to work and provide for his family. I even used a tree as a bathroom for most of my childhood. I vowed to never be in that position again or allow anyone in my family to ever go without way back then. So as I grew up, I just became a baddass business man who always worked harder than the next guy out of passion yes, but probably mostly because I am just frozen with a pure primal fear of being cold and hungry again subconciously. I probably need therapy. That certainly is no reason to live, but I just wanted to share that I guess I figured out why the pursuit of financial success has been so important to me. Maybe anyone else "burning it up" to get places so to speak in life might learn from my mistakes. It isn't worth it. Just try and enjoy your health because there never is any such thing as security. It is all an illusion...Anyway, thanks for letting me vent this stuff and learn how to heal my spirit even if I can't heal my body anymore...

[docblackrock]

Never nice to hear of stuff like this, especially something so tricky to deal with and chronic (sounds similar to Cushing's, Addisons, etc. which can be very nasty).

Goes to show the old adage is true....money can buy you everything but your health. To an extent of course, because there's always other avenues open if you can fund it, which by the sounds of it you can. That's what I'd be doing in your shoes. Never mind a second opinion, you ought to be looking at getting 4 or 5. And be prepared to travel, the big boys in this field are mostly based on the East Coast.

Best of luck.

[RobbieG]

Thanks Doc. Yeah I have been everywhere and spent a lot of money for testing not covered by insurance - I haven't exactly counted but maybe thirty grand so far. They can't diagnose me but yes, it shares traits of Cushings, Addisons, Graves, Myesthania Gravis, Lupus, Kenndys Disease and even Myotonic Dystrophy and ALS with hyperreflexia and fasiculations. My white count is very low but platelets are normal. Pancreatic enzymes non-existent, but then liver function is perfect. It is just sort of an autoimmune storm. John Hopkins has described it as an AIDS like wasting syndrome without the presence of HIV. Others like Mayo think it is more Thyroid centered. Others still think the pituitary/testorsterone function is at the core and causing everything else. But even then they can't explain how I could have T that low and still have sexual function, masculine features unchanged, etc. This is all what makes it so tough. I can't even see the true enemy to fight it. Plus, the muscle pain and stiffness is just brutal.

[mtv2009]

Hi Robbie

Im new round here and haven`t had the pleasure of reading your watch posts but you sound like a top bloke.

I can only send you my best wishes and that soon there will be a breakthrough and you will start on the road to recovery.

Regards

Martin.

[FxrAndy]

Robbie i am very sorry to here this news i wish you all the best and i hope for a recovery for you.

[By-Tor]

I'm very sad to hear about all those health issues. Get well soon!

[offshore]

I sit here, shaking my head in disbelief, and absolutely shattered.

Robbie, hang tough mate, we need your type around this place.

I can assure you that I will be having some words to the big man upstairs on your behalf tonight.

You now need to summon all your strength to fight this horrible thing. Like 100 times the effort you have put into your business and life. The mind also can be a powerful healer.

And, as Doc says, you can't take it with you, so if needed, use everything you have to find an answer!

Stay with us mate!

Offshore

[Samurai]

Robbie sorry to hear what you have been going thru. Hope you start feeling better. Keep and faith and believe in miracles. God bless.

[docblackrock]

Thanks Doc. Yeah I have been everywhere and spent a lot of money for testing not covered by insurance - I haven't exactly counted but maybe thirty grand so far. They can't diagnose me but yes, it shares traits of Cushings, Addisons, Graves, Myesthania Gravis, Lupus, Kenndys Disease and even Myotonic Dystrophy and ALS with hyperreflexia and fasiculations. My white count is very low but platelets are normal. Pancreatic enzymes non-existent, but then liver function is perfect. It is just sort of an autoimmune storm. John Hopkins has described it as an AIDS like wasting syndrome without the presence of HIV. Others like Mayo think it is more Thyroid centered. Others still think the pituitary/testorsterone function is at the core and causing everything else. But even then they can't explain how I could have T that low and still have sexual function, masculine features unchanged, etc. This is all what makes it so tough. I can't even see the true enemy to fight it. Plus, the muscle pain and stiffness is just brutal.

Seems your PM box is full. Just asked our mutual friend Lani for your email address, he'll likewise pass on mine if you ask. Have some info for you that I don't particularly want to post openly.

[lanikai]

Seems your PM box is full. Just asked our mutual friend Lani for your email address, he'll likewise pass on mine if you ask. Have some info for you that I don't particularly want to post openly.

Email sent doc..

[TeeJay]

I'm just sitting here stunned, and trying to thing of something, anything to actually say. "Sorry to hear", and "Get well soon", don't even begin to scratch the surface of how upset I am to hear you've been so ill, bro. I guess all I can say, is stay strong, and keep the faith One thing's for sure, and this might help, it might not, but everything you've gone through in life, and now this, well, when the time comes, you're definitely going to be getting VIP admission 'upstairs', no doubt in my mind about it. Take care of yourself, bro, and come our birthday, I'll be sure to drink one for you

[Demsey]

Robbie? Words can't express. So I will demure and lean on the outreach here in this thread, and let those who know you best say it for me. If you have people in the non-virtual that feel as these folk do here? Then hell, you win. You won it. You won.

You know, some say laughter is the best medicine. When you're healthy that seems to make sense. When your down it doesn't. At least it doesn't me. Or maybe it does? Up for a try?

What if I were to say I knew of a man who may be able to help you? Reviewing your condition inasmuch as you have shared here, I believe he has taken on worse. Far worse. Weekly, Sunday evenings, 10:00 EST with a stellar success rate. I give you:

Dr. Gregory House, M.D.

Anything?

Hang tough, you have to rally. The DOW will be over 20K before another decade is up. That's a purdy good horizon. We'll all see that together. You and us.

[By-Tor]

Robbie made an interesting point about money, career, etc. and how he became obsessive with it.

I think many people in this world are just "takers". They're pretending to be your friend if they can use you or can squeeze something out of you. When I was a competitive powerlifter there were always lots of people around who tried to get information from the best lifters. I wasn't one of the tops though. They talked crap behind their backs but were best friends in front of them, mainly because wanted to know what kind of drugs the top guys were taking or what their magic training formula was. You can see this behavior everywhere. Even here. People approach you and pretend to be your friends, but in reality they only want to know where you got the best Sub.

Anyway... these people never realized that you can't overcome hard work and dedication (and in my sport, genetics). No amount of tricks and drugs will get you on top (if you don't have what it takes). I never had what it takes and I wasn't successful. But I almost ruined my life and health with some extremities that I did when I was young and stupid.

But thinking it backwards now... I think I chose that sport and "extreme ways" to become huge because strength and muscles were at least something that money can't buy... I felt that it was more "genuine". But looking back at it now, I believe it was some sort of insecurity as well... not much different as flashing your watches, cars, money and career. Fake muscles and fake feeling of superiority. Pull the syringe out of your arse cheeks and you're among with the mortals again. Pursue with your career, or train with hardcore fashion if you like it (I still do) but don't lose your perspective.

There's nothing in this world that I despise more than cocky people who think that when they're rich, famous (or big) it makes them better than others.

I believe in business world (when lots of money is involved) this kind of backstabbing, greedy atmosphere and "spirit" is even more apparent. I can honestly say that I never gave a shit about money... maybe it was easier for me to think that way because I come from a wealthy (not rich) family. I always had nice toys and despite coming from Northern Europe my sandbox wasn't frozen. Somehow I always feel sorry about people who get obsessive about money and want to "become rich and popular" just for the sake of it... what a complete waste of good life! Sorry all my good friends in the US, but it's so very "American". Success in life has NOTHING to do with these things.

I think the best thing that can happen to a person is to realize that nobody really gives a poop about you (except the people that mean something... and that's your family and real friends). What the rest of the world thinks about you is completely meaningless. Just think it this way... if you died tomorrow, do you think the world would stop turning? Not bloody likely, you and your career are not that important. We all have some people who really care, and those are the only things in this world that matter. Cars, money and that stuff are completely meaningless in the "big picture". And in the long run we're all dead anyway. (Watches are important though).