Unsupportive family and friends

[P4GTR]

I never would've expected to get such a negative response from family and friends over this hobby.

My bills are paid, I am generally a very responsible person.

There are so many other things I could waste a few hundred dollars on in the course of a weekend, and have nothing to show for it come Monday morning besides a nose-bleed or a sunburn and a hangover. I don't spend a fortune on clothing, I drive a moderately priced car. Does it not seem like for every desire, there is double the reason to begrudge yourself of it?

I just don't get the negativity towards this hobby. The watches are not replacing meals on the table or the electricity bill. I've never spent much money on myself, and up until recently, it felt really nice to be able to do so.

Do any of you go through this as well? I can't believe you all have significant others that LOVE seeing you unwrap one heavily taped package after another. Maybe I am in wealthy company here, and it's just not that much of an issue to you all.

Edited September 19, 2009 by P4GTR

[jkerouac]

Sure it's an issue, and I am 51 and make a decent living with a lovely house and bills all paid, etc.

My response to questions is that I love watches, both the aesthetic design and mechanical sophistication of these time pieces. My wife has known for years that I also make a beeline to the jewelers windows downtown, at the mall, or when we are travelling.

And I prefer reps because I would not want to spend the amount that would be needed to acquire a comparable collection of gens.

I also point out (or could point out) people who collect match boxes, or baseball caps, quilts, porcelain, or any of a number of things, or who invest tremendous amounts of time and money fixing up old cars.

In my opinion, collecting reps is neither as expensive as many other hobbies, nor is it as "off beat" as some other collectibles.

Addendum: I just noticed your poll question. My wife supports my hobby, although I don't think she realizes quite what my annual watch budget is -- but then I don't question her clothes shopping either. Some friends think it's a bit weird to collect reps, but still find room to admire the quality or style of individual reps.

[section8]

My family has no problems. My wife has actually gotten me my two gens as anniversary gifts, and she has 2 reps of her own. The rolls her eyes a little when i talk about getting a new rep or gen, but she doesn't really mind.

I got my dad a rep 5517 Sub and he LOVES LOVES LOVES it. Also got my brother a rep quartz Link Chrono which he loves too.

[TK471]

For most people, it will always be "only a watch." This is a sickness, after all.

[Watchwatcher]

p4gtr, maybe i missed it, but did you indicate whether you live at home or not... if the answer is yes, then i don't need to reply.

[scoobs1971]

Most of my friends and family can't seem to understand what I like in this hobby (uhm, hobby? It's more like a obsessive compulsive disorder, hahaha). But since I don't have a family to support and are a very responsible person they just let me enjoy what I do.

So fortunately we have this forum to share with similar (lost) souls!

[Slartibartfast]

My daughters think this hobby is my "mid-life crisis". My wife thinks I just don't need another watch. All of them support me and are glad that it makes me happy!

[rckh]

Dear Buddy:

I spend quite a long time to let my wife to understand my hobby (This's my momentum & a place to relax myself after a whole day work). Right now; she seems to be agree my hobby but absolutely not support. However from my point of view; this's your hobby your interest. You no need to get all the people to agree/support with. Also; I never told my friends, even my relative (except my mom & brother) all my watches are reps. "Replica=Fake=counterfeit" most of the people will give a negative thought about it.

That's why we love RWG; we're all here to share & enjoy our same hobby. Don't upset! stay with us! We're family!

Best regards,

Raymond

[P4GTR]

p4gtr, maybe i missed it, but did you indicate whether you live at home or not... if the answer is yes, then i don't need to reply.

I live with my girlfriend in a nice apartment in the suburbs. We work hard and receive no spoiled handout's from our families.

I drive and pay for my '04 (bought brand new) Nissan SE-R SpecV. I've got a couple thousand dollars in NISMO upgrades (I/H/E/MM etc..). I love cars but its too expensive for me to build what I want right now. I downgraded to a less costly hobby!

[jkerouac]

I love cars but its too expensive for me to build what I want right now. I downgraded to a less costly hobby!

There you go, Mate. Also, don't forget that your girlfriend doesn't (presumably) wear the same earrings or necklace every day, so what's the big deal with you having a few nice watches?

[Stephane]

It's human nature:

- My position is: enjoy and share whathever the other person pleasure is as long as it doesn't put any family member in danger.

- Wife position is: you and your bloody mistress (ooops, sorry "hobby"). Whatever you like, it will be the same (Football, Cars, Cigars, Stamps, ...)

Girls are always jealous, parents are worried and we, boys, only want some peace and pleasure.

It takes a long long time to teach your partner to share your personal pleasures because they always look at theirs first, they are human too, sometimes.

I solved the problem.

I live alone and share the kids time with my wife and we are finaly happy.

She has her own life and space and so do I.

The kids never look at me like I have an obessive compulsive disorder because I'm not. I spend time with them, 100% when they are with me.

But, hey, they are not jealous of their father.

They love me without conditions, and so do I.

Adults might be jealous of me, well, in fact, they are for sure. This assh** with his watches, nice car, nice job, nice house, nice kids, ...

Today, we spend the afternoon doing things they love, the 3 of us togheter, daughter, son and dad.

My watch hobby doesn't hurt them...I'm not putting them in front of a TV or PC and tell them "Dad must work now".

They even recognize my watches now.

Tonight, when going to put them in bed, my son said: "oh, you wear your Omega".

Me: "well, you seem to be a 9 year old expert now"

Him: "looking at all your watches for a while, I learned to see which is a Rolex, or a Panerai, Jaeger Le Coultre, Omega, Baume & Mercier..."

Me: "so, you might want to become a watchmaker some day..."

Him: "I don't know. Why are you not a watchmaker"

Me: "well, I have a job and it's too late to go back to school"

Him: "so, you cannot change job anymore (meaning you have to stick to this forever)

Me: Yes I can, but becoming a watchmaker needs a lot of study and I can't go back to school because I must make some money and school is not a job ...

The reason I write all this is because what is seen with the eyes of a boy of 9 is beautiful.

What is seen thru the eyes of an adult is very often stupid and disapointing.

Some of us here at RWG are kids, for sure...we do not match that much with adults.

Cheers

Stephane

[rocket754]

I live with my girlfriend in a nice apartment in the suburbs. We work hard and receive no spoiled handout's from our families.

I drive and pay for my '04 (bought brand new) Nissan SE-R SpecV. I've got a couple thousand dollars in NISMO upgrades (I/H/E/MM etc..). I love cars but its too expensive for me to build what I want right now. I downgraded to a less costly hobby!

Nice SE-R. I am into cars myself. Love my G

Make sure and keep the GF happy by getting her some jewerly or the like. It always makes any hobby go over a lot smoother. If you make and pay your own way others views on your hobby shouldn't be of any relivance.

[Victoria]

I never would've expected to get such a negative response from family and friends over this hobby.

My girlfriend hates hearing about the watches. With a grand total of 3 watches + one more planned for my birthday next month, is it really that extreme? She also is of the opinion that she is owed a piece of jewlery now. Maybe so.

Wow, this thread is very enlightening, and thank you so much for posting it, P4GTR.

My thoughts are spinning as I want to respond in a waterfall of words. Here are some observations:

1) I am one of the lucky ones.

My mother loves watches, my father likes my collecting habits (he thinks it as an investment), and my boyfriend is patient and generous about anything I do. So, though I possibly bore people with my latest OCD hobby, by no means are they unsupportive. Am I blessed or what?

2) Ever read "For Sale" threads when a guy starts off with something like, "Well, I want to buy another watch, but have 4 already, and the wife is only allowing me to keep 4, so this one must go"?

I literally go WHAT THE F---! No way, really? REALLY??

I've read DOZENS of posts like that. Yeah, maybe they're fibbing, but there are enough stories on rep forums about wives putting their foot down about more watches, so it's gotta be true sometimes.

How can certain women be like this? I would indulge the HECK out of my husband. I would pamper him, love him, and make sure any little innocent passion of his was encouraged -- be it sports, be it cars, be it watches.

Chances are most of the guys in this forum are not dead-beat dads. They're not spending money wantonly on booze, and whores. I bet you anything 90% of you are excellent providers, who at least try your best to keep your wife, children clothed, fed and sheltered.

Jesus Christ, and then a wife has the temerity to insist "NO more watches!"??

That's awful.

3) Look our mutual passion has a touch of the geekiness about it. But worse than that, it's expensive. Maybe gen watch forums think we're poor, because we can't afford the real money to buy gens -- maybe they're right sometimes.

But I've noticed most people in this forum are doing mighty well financially. The ones who aren't, are still not starving, and God willing, they will see better days.

I get being bored by our passion, but not the jealousy.

Being surrounded by a lot of people who support me, I will also tell you that my watch collection makes my neighbours both envious and competitive.

This I too don't get. Ah well.

[hambone]

My wife ridicules my love for collecting watches and my kids are ambivalent. Wifey says all Panerais are the same. The expense of the hobby is what gets to her most, however it is the only real hobby I have outside of work which I have found that gives me great saitsfaction and pleasure. It is of much comfort to be in the forum here where there are fellow collectors and those that support the hobby. What really gets to me in this forum however, to digress, are all those who want to endlessly criticise and pick apart what choices we make. We should all celebrate each others taste and joy at purchasing another new watch, not pick it apart, say it costs too much or the font is wrong, blah blah. It gets a bit vapid in here at times with the negativity.

[Corgi]

My hobby has cascaded through my family like wildfire, so now many of my family members own several reps.

[Stephane]

We should all celebrate each others taste and joy at purchasing another new watch, not pick it apart, say it costs too much or the font is wrong, blah blah. It gets a bit vapid in here at times with the negativity.

...."or the font is wrong"....

Well, that is ok, as it's learning and sharing

But you are so right: let's bear in mind we're all kids of RWG and enjoy that state of mind

[325BMW]

First off, its really heartening to find that there are other people fitting the middle aged dad with a hobby mould!

My nature is all or nothing, and when I got the bug, I read everything i could, until my wife said, "look, you stay up night after night reading about watches, i would like to buy you a really special one for your birthday"

When i recieved it, I was talking about getting a sports model, then a dress watch.

My wife was only concerned that I space them out and enjoy them rather than getting everything at once (I did this when I collected guitars, and i tell you, I got addicted real bad - now I am down to 5 guitars that I really enjoy)

My family do not understand why I want to buy more, but apart from the occasional question, its accepted.

The other factor I think, is motive.

If I buy a fake Rolex so I can impress people, then thats one thing, but if I buy a watch because I genuinely love the look and the fact that I can buy a beautiful mechanical chronometer for a fraction of the price that most people have to pay, while learning about its intricies then thats another reason entirely.

I love this hobby, but if it becomes an obsession, and I collect a watch i do not intend to wear, then I give it away and take up something else!!

[tenacious_b]

Dude,

Maybe this it the Martinis talking, but if someone asked me if I didn't have something more responsible to spend my money on, I'd make it real clear that what I spend my money on is none of their damn business. My family in friends not only support my hobby since it makes me happy, but have been infected by it, and one of my closest friends and I have become watch partners. We have a vault at the office, and we split the purchase of all our watches, and check them in and out like library books. My friends & family know me well enough to know that I a could give two sh!+s about anyone's judgmental views of the only hobby that I have, and one of the few things I have that brings me true joy in my life outside of my wife and kids. Seriously, don't put up with that sh!+....from anyone.

B

[P4GTR]

Thanks to all of you for contributing to the thread.

It is a bit defeating to enjoy something so much, experience the excitement of a new watch/mod/strap, and have no one to share it with in my everyday life. Even worse, have people mildly disgusted with you because "its all you ever talk about". I assure you it is not. Thats why this forum is so important, and enjoyable for its members. We are a very specific breed here.

I told my girlfriend today, if she got away from the TV and started her photography again, I would LOVE to delve into that with her. You cannot knock a hobby when you have none yourself. She seemed to like taking pictures of the watches with me, so thats a start. She is a lovely woman really (see avitar ), but a woman none the less.

@ Rocket- nice kit, has the lines of the F430. I saw one in person the other day, pretty serious! Enjoy the Skyline sir. Saving up for the GTR swap when the GTR is introduced I hope.

@VB- oi.. Where does one even start with you.

@ Stephanie- Great post my friend. Poetic.

[dangerman]

Other than my wife and my best friend I try to keep my rep hobby to myself. Experience has taught me that this is the best policy with eccentric hobbies.

My wife thought it a bit odd at first but says she doesn't mind. She just grins and shakes her head now and then. My friend is OK but doesn't understand (thinks its a bit of a waist of money) so I've only shown a couple to him.

My dad would give me a hard time, but thats just him. He doesn't understand spending money on any thing fancy (except his yacht; and even that is small and basic). He is perfectly happy with a $20 watch. I know better than to try and explain the attraction to him.

And if you think people don't understand the appeal of replicas you should try flashlights. Then you will really know what is is to be treated like a bit of a freak!

[POTR]

You should grab another couple of hobbies, then you'll have at least three things to talk of.

Mine top 3 are Horology, Fine Single Malt Scotch and Computers.

Works for me. I can bore my friends and family in at least a dozen subjects in nearly as many languages, although sometimes rather poorly. Just ask Ryy.

My Wife doesn't put on the brakes until I absentmindedly suggest that I really need 3 Bergamo 40 winders.....

[phaedo]

And if you think people don't understand the appeal of replicas you should try flashlights. Then you will really know what is is to be treated like a bit of a freak!

Would those be genuine flashlights or reps?

For me, it isn't an issue, my family is in a different country and I am single, so nobody there to judge... And hey, it isn't like I am female, with 100 pair of shoes in the closet saying I have none to wear, just 100 watches with none to wear...(well, not that many yet)

[rckh]

I live with my girlfriend in a nice apartment in the suburbs. We work hard and receive no spoiled handout's from our families.

I drive and pay for my '04 (bought brand new) Nissan SE-R SpecV. I've got a couple thousand dollars in NISMO upgrades (I/H/E/MM etc..). I love cars but its too expensive for me to build what I want right now. I downgraded to a less costly hobby!

Oh yeah! "Car" is more deadly than "Watch". So, Like MC-Hammer said "U can't Touch this!!!"

Best Regards,

Raymond

[Guest carlsbadrolex]

As the father of four sons, and husband to a rather understanding woman (mother of two of the aforementioned hooligans) I consider myself lucky. My sons are too young to really care about what daddy does with the green stuff in his wallet and the wife just shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head every time the Express Delivery guy shows up.

My father introduced me to watch collecting when I was about 10. I remember very clearly the day he brought out his watch rolls to show me for the first time. His collection consisted of American vintage at that time. He is now my biggest supporter, and ofter still asks "whats next?".

On the other hand, my friends all think its insane. They prefer women and wine over watches and family. Maybe thats why all of my friends are single........

[arminvanbuuren]

hey dude.. don't worry i get the same response too.. infact i display all my reps in my room and sometimes i clean/polish it.. and my dad always peeks in and tell everyone in this house that i have a mental problem.. and it's not a joking kind of way telling everyone that i was crazy.. but in the way where they tell my mum and my sisters sometimes even my gf that I have nothing in life and all I do all day is just reading catalogs and obsessed with watches... i guess some ppl just couldnt understand our hobby.. but hey.. he can say whatever he wants with calling me crazy.. but I'm sure alot of ppl in this board are like me.. and thats wat counts.. you're not alone mate