Stephane Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Dear All, Pug already pointed this issue about PMs from members who don't even search prior to ask an information to be delivered to them on a silver plate. That upsets me in a certain way, but I usually reply in a friendly manner. What really p*ss me off is some guys shooting very impolite PMs! The PM here under is the kind of PM I am getting too often these days and I decided not to reply too anymore. I have a MBW SRSD which I bought from MBK. I would like to have a full mod and am wondering who is the best person to help me. Please advise. Thx No "Hello, hope you're doing fine today ", not even a "Hi", no "I am a new member here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 I tend to point them at my signature and tell them this is not the kind of question one should be asking of an individual. You can rest assured that if they've PMed you, they've PMed other prominent members. I don't mind replying impolitely if they come across as rude. Life's too short to waste time you could be spending on the community on just one person. It's rather selfish of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkarpas Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 i totally agree stephane.. proper talking even in written form is essential! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryyannon Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Personally, I wouldn't waste my time replying to a PM like that. It just reeks of entitlement. The sad thing is that the person who wrote it is probably not even aware of its tone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Stephane life is to short to waste time on rude PM's......just delete them Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 I have received a PM from some guy wanting to explain him the process of making a strap, the tools he needed, where to buy it, where to find the leather and if I had a detailed tutorial because he wanted to start making straps. Go figure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pix Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Hi, when the question is asked in a gentle manner, I am usually not reluctant in answering : it's part of my fun in the hobby. Although I find it more useful for all to post these questions on the boards. When it comes to "what's the best this or that" or if the question isn't asked as it should be (see St Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobs1971 Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Some people really lack basic social skills while sending PMs to people they don't know. No 'hello', no name, no 'thank you' after I've answered their question. I have chosen to simply ignore them.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodwc Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 People come in all shapes and forms. Some nice, some rude , some completely obnoxious. I have tried to give to (whatever ) on this forum a polite and decent answer, to pm`s rude or otherwise.( for I know better ) I have tried to think that, for some of these people English is not their first language, grammar, spelling, etc., so , if I could write and speak in their native tongue, then I would be a far richer person. There is a limit, I agree, but I tend to make the exception , in that , on this forum we tend to try and help each other. That is what I have seen first hand. I still try and read between the lines, to see what the person is trying to say,and where they are coming from. unfortnately rudeness , does not go down very well anywhere in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watchmeister Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Although I am in Stephane's camp on this one I am somewhat more tolerant. If it is a question coming from a recently joined member that can be answered relatively easily and is not invading on my or any other member's privacy I will provide a brief accurate answer in a friendly manner. If I never hear a thank you or response back I note it and that person will not receive another response to additional PM's. When I do get "who has the best sub" I simply respond back to spend some more time on the forum and come back if you can't find the answer. If someone is outright rude I am with everyone else, ignore them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 To be honest, I'd reply to a PM like that. Unless it is actually abusive, then 'poor manners' can be ignored, and, as I've already taken the time to read the PM, not answering it would make that time wasted. If someone is actually abusive and vulgar, then yes, ignore and report. I think the distinction needs to be what constitutes 'rude'... Poor manners are one thing, outright vulgarity is another. What one person considers a reasonable quick request for information, another might find offensive, and, what might offend the recipient, might not have been intended to offend by the sender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 As Pugwash pointed out, often these kinds of PM's are spammed out to a dozen people - everyone ends up running around answering the same question. They annoy me when they're exactly the kind of question that can be asked on the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRae Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Since I'm a noob (obviously...), I'd like to chime in with my take on it, not that I get a lot of PM's asking questions, only 1 so far. If you spend the energy to join a specialized forum to get info about something and then even can't be bothered to use the search button (and again, and again...) then forget it, you don't deserve to get an answer! The first weeks after I joined, I just read and read... Everytime I didn't understand something, guess what, yes I searched, instead of using up someone elses valuable time on something that's already on the forum. Just my noob 2C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadtorrent Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Hi folks, I used to think that that type of PM was rude...and I suppose I still do, but I'm finding the short and almost terse emails are often a product of a combination of language skill issues and a younger generation's mode of communication. I was brought up to try and be polite and clear and grateful for help, but often I'm finding younger folks who are used to instantaneous responses in a digital world based on texting, PM'ing, and email being integral to their lives at all hours...this type of "short" communication is considered more formal, while truncated, barely legible text'ing with 1 hand on a cell phone in "half sentences" is what is now considered casual. It may be a shift in social standards...like white and black tie for dinner being replaced by business casual and designer jeans. Is this sad decline in social standards? Yes...but maybe we need to get used to it...and we can try and promote our own sense of proper decorum through demonstration of our own actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corgi Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Whenever this happens to me (whether on the internet or in real life) I usually just give a really goofy reply. For example: "give me information about where to buy best sub!" >only shmekapuss sells grade A subs... and the only way you can contact him is byAOL messenger. ...so more than likely the person spends the next few hours installing, signing up for, and subsequently realizing that there are no shmekapusses on AOL... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWG Technical Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 I don't think there is any excuse for impolite messages. What is the second thing anyone learns in any foreign language (the first being all the swear words), but how to say hello and good bye. Even if english is not your first language, most likely you can introduce yourself, say hello, and sign your name... There is no excuse as far as I am concerned...and I do get a lot of impolite messages or curt ones and just ignore them. RG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbell6 Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 This may in fact be a cultural thing. I've noticed that most (but not all) of the people who have responded so far are not in the US. I, for one, do not find the e-mail in question rude or offensive. It is merely straight to the point. In both Law School and Business School I was taught to get straight to the point. Within the past two years, my wife and I have both started jobs where we deal with more Europeans via e-mail. The first thing I noticed was the use of greetings and salutations. I started trying to reply in the same manner. Prior to my wife starting her job, she was reading one of my responses and questioned why I was using the salutation "Best regards". I responded that I was trying to emulate their writing style. After starting her job, she commented to me that she understood the e-mail thing now. She said that Europeans she deals with are far more likely to say "Hi" or "Hello" and usually end with "Best regards". Although I consider both of us to be very friendly in person, I think our writing style often lacks the niceties that are used in other parts of the world (or country for that matter). Hopefully, I've never offended anyone in this manner. If so, I apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJo35 Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 I agree with Stephane's interpretation of the PM he received. I happen to live in the US, probably in the epicenter of the busiest and rudest place in the world, just outside NYC. Shortly after I first joined this site; during the time I was beginning to have interest in vintage rolex, I PM'd some of the folks here who I thought were "in the know". I can distinctly remember starting off a couple PM's with "I know we haven't spoken before, and I hope you don't mind helping a total stranger..." I realized I was asking someone of their valuable time, and I certainly did not feel "entitled" to any of their consideration. However, I received some very polite and helpful responses. As an unexpected bonus, I ended up making some friends here, and even getting the chance to meet some of the smartest and interesting people I ever have during a GTG in NYC last year. I've received a few PM's very similar to the one Stephane quoted... hmm.. whatever happened to those PM's I received? Dear All, Pug already pointed this issue about PMs from members who don't even search prior to ask an information to be delivered to them on a silver plate. That upsets me in a certain way, but I usually reply in a friendly manner. What really p*ss me off is some guys shooting very impolite PMs! The PM here under is the kind of PM I am getting too often these days and I decided not to reply too anymore. No "Hello, hope you're doing fine today ", not even a "Hi", no "I am a new member here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gioarmani Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Manners: always a must. If it's a noob, I say let them know--tactfully--exactly what the score is. If it's a tenured member, you have more of a right to ignore it; they should know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TTK Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 (edited) No excuses for bad manners in a 1st time PM.....you should see some of the ones I get.....one of my favourites is this one...! "Hi.....I'm looking for a Breitling Chronomat Evolution...white dial...steel bracelet....do you have them and how much...?" "Yes I have them.....$350.00" "Hi...Josdrewbyixgus has them and they're only $325.00" "Well why not buy one from him then...." "He's out of stock..." "Well...when I'm out of stock...my price is $325.00 also......but when they're in stock...they're $350.00" End of PM's...! Edited March 2, 2008 by TTK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubiquitous Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 I've had some very terse and otherwise impolite PMs in the past, to which I would take time to answer (but most of which were not even acknowledged with a simple thank you in return). These days, impolite PMs go straight to the trash can. Good manners never hurt anyone, and this courtesy to others is not much to ask (in my humble opinion)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 That's curious. I have yet to receive any newbie PM that was nothing but polite, even to the point of deference, which makes me proud. Ironically, for a lady who places great store in communicating with flair, and loves grammar, I don't care if the person is a little inelegant. Like TeeJay, I would've probably answered the original PM. We're here to help each other, yes? BTW, here I'd like to take the opportunity to publicly thank Toadtorrent for "Over 8 Million Newbies Served" under my forum ID. That was his idea, not mine, and it was genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raijor Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Manners are the lubrication that allow us to exist side by side in close quarters. They keep interaction civil. When people who are well mannered receive communication that they perceive as ill mannered their sensibilities are offended. The internet as a communication tool has eliminated the close and in person contact that was the norm 20 years ago. I can not accept that because texting is a quick tool for communication that manners can be eliminated. I will not reply to emails I consider rude that I receive in my business life or in my personal life and here on the forum. A simple hello and thank you for you help is not hard to offer and takes only seconds to add. About Law School teaching a get to the point communication ... I too went to Law School and graduated with an LLB and was taught to think and communicate in a precise manner. I was never taught to eliminate good manners from my communication with others. It is just good form. Cheers And one other thing ... Use spell check ... it does help your message come across better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephane Posted March 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Dear all, I read all your comments and, so far, here is what I would like to add. - We still need to help new members, no doubt about that of course, and I will continue to do so, even if I do not shout it loud I agree that they should rather post their questions than PM several members though, they will gather more information probably. - Language/Cultural barriers: my experience in English is very limited. Having said that one of my bosses is UK native and he would never start a mail without a "Hi Stephane" nor end it without a "best regards, cheers, warm regards, kind regards". As for US natives, I understand the idea to be straight to the point but again I don't remember having received a PM from Jetsons that did not start with "Hello Stephane" even his first PM to me, when I was a total stranger and very fresh newbie (I choose Jetsons to name only one, but all of them did in fact!). I don't think the "Hi and bye" is a pure "old world" habit. - Am I trying to educate other members here? No, it is impossible to do so As for awaiting a "Thank you" in reply to my answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadtorrent Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 BTW, here I'd like to take the opportunity to publicly thank Toadtorrent for "Over 8 Million Newbies Served" under my forum ID. That was his idea, not mine, and it was genius. Hah hah...you'll need to update the number weekly with your avatar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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