RWG Technical Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I know, it's been said here many, many times by various members. Like being in a bad relationship, where you just had enough, the rude members really take all the joy out of the forum. By rude, I am referring to those who send you a PM, you reply in kind, with a polite "...I would appreciate a reponse either way..." only to see your PM being read, and then deleted with no reply. Why? Because they didn't get the answer they WANTED. A one-off is no big deal, but after god knows how many of these, it's hard to not let it get to you, and simply paint everyone you don't know with the same brush. In other words, "Why do I want to even waste 30 seconds of my time answering this person I don't know, first off they can't even sign their name, and secondly, the odds of them even responding are basically zero." I can't speak for other long time members, but certainly this is one of the biggest reasons my participation has virtually stopped. Just when I think things have changed, I reply to a few PM's, only to have the sender's prove once again that nothing's changed...so why even bother... I guess everyone wants what they want when they want it, and they won't accept anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justasgood Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Well said and a shameful approach by many. Tsk, Tsk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HauteHippie Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I guess everyone wants what they want when they want it, and they won't accept anything else. Not everyone... just the rude ones. I know what you mean though, and have often noted the very same pattern with PMs. But, at the same time, I know I'm probably guilty of the same, partially due to being buried in PMs from time to time, losing track, and then clearing out my PM box. Seems I'm always teetering on the edge of a 100% full inbox, and sometimes end up clearing out unread messages in hurry. So perhaps I'm not the only one with a reasonable excuse for being guilty of it. Either way, though, it can wear on you and get frustrating once it becomes a pattern, and I can certainly sympathize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gran Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 This board need the long time members. Treat them well. Hope you will stay Happier Timekeeping Gunnar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougaree Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Sorry to hear that you are upset about this. Unfortunately, we can only hope people could get out of their way a little bit for the goodness of others. However, I encourage you not to lose hope of our board and its members as there are still few (at very least) who would know what proper ways of doing things are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronin Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Common Courtesy, and manners in general seem to be an endangered species these days. This extends well beyond the forums. Try hosting a party / get together, and asking for RSVPs so you know how much food to buy, etc.... Same problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWG Technical Posted June 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I guess on the upside, those who don't reply...are probably members you don't want to deal with anyway. So it's a good screening tool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
szvwj Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I hate hearing this kind of thing. I really appreciate the technical expertise you (The Zigmeister) and others provide to this forum. I've learned so much about watch repair by reading the various posts. I wish there was a better way to 'screen' the troublemakers so that the long time members wouldn't leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modelizer Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I guess on the upside, those who don't reply...are probably members you don't want to deal with anyway. So it's a good screening tool. +1 But it's still sad when people lack proper manners.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hackR Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 i hear ya, Z!...experiencing the same from time2time... i honestly don't get it either...treat everyone with respect and common courtesy... i value the forum and the relationships formed...and always remember that i'm grateful for the learnings, advice and friendships...and encourage that of others, as well... this forum is built upon the many years of participation, hours of advice and sharings, expertise, craftmanship and wit of the senior members - bedrock and absolutely critical in keeping this forum relevant and of value to all... R - you're one of the best...hang in there...i'm nowhere near a senior member...but each day i contribute and hope, over time, to balance the put and take of this cool place... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bike Mike Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I think this all goes right back to those people (I won't call them members because a member is someone who contributes/shares to the knowledge wealth of a group) who come to this forum only to find a reps. Make it mechanically sound as possible or a super rep, just all to impress their friends and we never hear from them. Z, I had a similar experience with someone that want their watch serviced on his time and not mine...He even went as far as saying how you were unresponsive to his e-mails, yet failed to read that you were not taken on anymore business...Told him to "Pound Sand" and never heard from him. Very rude indeed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mastrmindalliance Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Don't worry, you get this even if you're new and happen to have written a basic tute and review or even if you just happen to have bought the Breitling mesh (seriously). Basic manners go a long way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddy333 Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Zig - Perhaps, your initial response to new/unknown members' inquires should be more of an appetizer in the form of a brief note explaining the requirements to receive a more informative reply. Then, assuming the next message adheres to the rules, you can provide the meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plaifender Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I'm no senior member by any means.. but I understand what you mean about the manners The Zigmeister.. It seems that so many people want what the want when they want.. that they don't care how they ask or how they sound when they ask you. Sometimes it almost seems as if many members deserve an answer because they've been scammed in the past.. or whatever the circumstance. I probably don't get 1/100th of the pm volume that you do, but I recognize that it must be really discouraging to give advice and not get any feedback or even a simple "thanks" for it. I just look at it as karma... what goes around comes around. I'm a southern boy by heart (from Atlanta Georgia) and I was always taught that a little manners go a long way! Much obliged kind sirs! -Ry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadog13 Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I started the same topic on RG two years ago..since then I stopped answering Q's i received from members by PM which I judge not being written properly...with an introduction (like hello, hi,...) and with a polite ending (tnx in advance, regards,...).. I get immediately nervous when I remember some of the PM's that were literally like this : "where can I buy the best PAM111?" or something similar.. a lot of people do not know the basics of polite communication..that's the reality! thanks all for reading this post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eton Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Z, like you say, it does eventually get to you and makes it difficult to answer each PM you receive with a positive attitude. Treat others as you wish to be treated, right? If they don't reciprocate the courtesy and time it takes you to respond, then like you say it's a good screening tool and in the end you will probably save yourself a lot of hassle! It's a shame and really sad, but not everyone has manners...a lot of people are great, but sometimes the small few can leave a bad taste I don't think everyone wants what they want when they want it, and they won't accept anything else. A lot of real members are good people, so just try to think of the positive ones and hang in there! If you need a break, you can always fly west, doors always open! Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWG Technical Posted June 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Zig - Perhaps, your initial response to new/unknown members' inquires should be more of an appetizer in the form of a brief note explaining the requirements to receive a more informative reply. Then, assuming the next message adheres to the rules, you can provide the meat. I have given this a try in the past, and it did help, I think it comes down to simple "I want it, and I want it NOW" attitude. There is probably no real solution, sometimes I just need to vent a bit like everyone else. For all the jerks, I remind myself of all the friends I have made, those who have invited me into their homes, those that have stayed at my home, and those I will meet in the near future. The good certainly outweights the bad, and the great members will always overshadow the others, it's like the annoying drunk with the atomic finger poking your chest at the party, after a while you just want him to go to pass out somewhere... @eton Heading East this year, maybe West next year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolexmaniac88 Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I guess on the upside, those who don't reply...are probably members you don't want to deal with anyway. So it's a good screening tool. That's the spirit! Please, try not to lose faith in the new members (like me). Some (i know there's a few) need and hopefully deserve your insight and help. You are a huge asset to this forum, as other respected members are. Unfortunately, i don't really know how it was before, but i can sure tell you that it is, to my point of view, a great place to hang around with great people to chat with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 8, 2010 Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I get many of these too and the big problem for me is the time taken up on answering the rude ones can often mean you miss answering some of the genuine guys. I think you need to just brush it off and move on, I know I always have pleasant mails from the regular people of RWG, the rude guys are usually ones who wont interact on the board anyway. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krpster Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 it's like the annoying drunk with the atomic finger poking your chest at the party, after a while you just want him to go to pass out somewhere... Not sure I've had anyone point an atomic finger at me but I know what you mean. As previously said "common" courtesy is a misnomer since it has become so rare. It is quite disheartening at times but as you said it is good to focus on the good things in spite of the bad. Lots of great people here that enjoy discussion and value your feedback. I know I am one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSRep Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Hey Zig! Good to see you on the forum! I guess youre going to find those sort of people wherever you work. Theres always going to be someone who is rude, someone whos lazy etc etc. I mean, we have over 20,000 members but you definitely dont see 20,000 members on the forum on a daily basis. As Bike Mike said, some people come on here to find a good rep then just disappear. Thing is, its people like you, Chief, Ubi, Lani, Domi, Francisco, BK (and many others) who make this hobby interesting and worthwhile, and im sure alot of us appreciate it Theres no way we would have some of the super reps around if it wasnt for you guys....... If someones not going to bother to reply to your PM out of common courtesy, then its their loss! Hope you dont drift away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cats Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 +1 OSRep Zig i think your right if people don't even react to your answer(s) it aren't the people you want to do business with but it still consumes a lot of time a can imagine. Hope to see you around for a long time here. Carpe Diem Cats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubiquitous Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 My favorite is when someone posts 'I'm looking for xx part', to which I reply 'I have one here for you... Gratis', they take me up on it, I go out of my way to not only gift it to the individual, take time out of my day to go to the local PO, send it at my cost and they can't even send a simple 'thanks'... It's not really the cost of the part, or the shipping expense, or even the lost time out of my day that irks me... But rather the lack of simple manners. Irritating to say the least. Will it stop me from continuing to do it? Certainly not for friends... But for the guy with 1 post and his only post being a request for parts... Probably not going to happen anymore... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmarin.72 Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 My favorite is when someone posts 'I'm looking for xx part', to which I reply 'I have one here for you... Gratis', they take me up on it, I go out of my way to not only gift it to the individual, take time out of my day to go to the local PO, send it at my cost and they can't even send a simple 'thanks'... It's not really the cost of the part, or the shipping expense, or even the lost time out of my day that irks me... But rather the lack of simple manners. Irritating to say the least. Will it stop me from continuing to do it? Certainly not for friends... But for the guy with 1 post and his only post being a request for parts... Probably not going to happen anymore... Yeap...my thoughts and feelings exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSRep Posted June 9, 2010 Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 My favorite is when someone posts 'I'm looking for xx part', to which I reply 'I have one here for you... Gratis', they take me up on it, I go out of my way to not only gift it to the individual, take time out of my day to go to the local PO, send it at my cost and they can't even send a simple 'thanks'... That is just mind boggling, how ungrateful the human race can be!!....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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